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“Does it matter what age?” Athan asked, sounding tired.
“It should. They never should have put that decision on you.” And they should not be having this conversation. She was developing too much empathy for him. Allowing herself to be too…taken in.
Wasn’t that what Constantine had done to her own father? Softened him, manipulated him, made him believe they were friends. Thebestof friends. Brothers, almost.
“I don’t see why my age should matter. I was old enough to understand and they gave me a say.”
A thirteen-year-old. Old enough to understand the complexity of an adult marriage? She didn’t want to absolve Athan, and she would never absolve the adult version of him, but she could hardly stand the injustice of putting that decision on achild. “They gave themselves an out. For any responsibility. And as far as I can tell, they have continued that. Putting all responsibility on you and none on themselves.” She made a scoffing noise, couldn’t help it. “They’re both despicable.”
“I would assume you of all people would think I deserved it.”
He did. Hedid, no matter how much some strange part of her wanted to balk at the idea. “You deserve much, Athan, but what you might have done as a boy isn’t part of that. A parents’ role is to protect their children, and your parents failed you. This is a rare case where you are not to blame.”
“Is that why you do not ever wish to speak of your father? You were disappointed in him since he stopped protecting you?”
Everything inside of her went cold. It wasn’t true, of course it wasn’t true, so the fact the words felt like a blow was little more than…than…than… “My father was exemplary in all ways,” she said stiffly.
“What happened was not his fault, I suppose, though I did not personally stop his heart from beating,” Athan continued, as if this was a conversation they were going to have. “But in dying, he did not protect you. And it doesn’t seem your mother did much protecting in the time since either. Quite the opposite. You have handled everything for your family since your father died.”
She could hardly breathe through…anger. It had to be anger twisting her lungs and causing a terrible pain in her chest. Her parents weren’t like Athan’s. And her position wasn’t like Athan’s. Because she hadn’t been a child, no one had stopped protecting her, and she had behaved correctly. Always. “Iwas an adult when all of this happened. I have made my choices, and I stand by them. You—”
“You were at university,” Athan interrupted.
“Yes. I was an adult, living on my own while I saw to my studies. My mother lost the man she loved, everything she’d counted on, and she had Rhys to raise. All I did was help financially. This was not some…some…lack of protection.”
“You felt the need to solve the financial constraints of your family as a university student. On the heels of losing your father, whom you loved.”
Her throat was closing up, and she refused to let that happen. “It isn’t the same. My father’s financial situation he left us with was not his fault. My mother did not…put any responsibility on me. And neither my mother nor brother have ever turned to me for money, so, it is wrong to compare them.”
He sighed. “So, I am correct.” He gave her a wry kind of look that wasn’t like himself at all. Too…sad, almost. Which was hardly fair. “It is my own fault that my mother has turned on me.”
Why she felt the struggling need to defend him was beyond her, but she bit her tongue and said nothing. She would not… If he wanted to think his boyhood self was to blame for his current problems, well, that was his problem. She would not defend him.
He did not deserve defending. Not after comparing her parents to his. When she had never had any doubt her parents loved her. When she had stepped up because shecould, not because she was forced to. When her father…
She did not want to think of her father.
They arrived back athishome and she got out of the car. He did not. He was going to drive back into the office for a few hours, as he should. Hopefully Ophelia would have a new plan of action for his PR, but it didn’t matter if she did or not.
Lynna would focus on her end of the bargain. Pretending to be his wife to get the amount of shares needed to rid AC International of Constantine. Making it a place for Rhys, because he wouldn’t be so high-and-mighty about calling himself an adult and telling her to butt out if she got him this.
She would be back to focusing on the important things.
With some space from him. Space. Necessary, important space. To settle all this that was unsettled inside of her. Because none of this was productive. None of it solved a problem.
It is my own fault that my mother has turned on me.
How dare he say that, sounding as though his heart had been ripped out. How dare he think that when he was an arrogant, self-absorbed reprobate who didnotsit there blaming himself for his parents’ terribleness.
She whirled back to face the car. He rolled down his window and she stomped toward it, angry at herself but unable to stop.
“You were a boy. Your parents are wrong. You have done wrong things as an adult, and these things I will never absolve you from, but that doesn’t make your parents right. You should know that. Believe that.”
They stared at each other, for too many beats. Her heart was battering about in her chest. What was he doing to her? It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It wasn’t supposed tofeellike this. All her control was slipping and she couldn’t let that happen.
She would turn into her father if she did. Letting her life fall apart over pointless, useless emotions. She wouldn’t. She couldn’t.
She whirled away again. Back toward the front door. She needed to find some safety to put all this swirling emotionaway. She heard the car door slam and knew he was coming after her and still she did not stop.