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He spread her out on his bed, the golden light of a summer afternoon washing over her. And he worshipped the goddess she was, the revelation she was. With his mouth, with his body. While she sighed into him, met every knot of pleasure with her own unspooling response.
And still, they did not rush. It was as if there was no outside world, only them, only coming together. Only sighs and sweet words and the way she came apart for him, over and over again.
Until he followed her into bliss, until there was nothing left to give one another, because they had given it all.All.
And he wanted that all. Forever. This should be enough. How could a man such as him ask for more?
But he supposed, that was the answer. To end this horrible hope, thischance, he had to ask for more.
So she would tell him no.
* * *
Lynna thought faintly of the dinner she needed to make. She really did not have time to doze here in the warm afternoon sun. And no doubt Athan needed to return to the office and see to his business.
But they both lay sprawled out on the bed as their breathing steadied.
She did not think about the gentleness, the emotional feelings that had swamped her. She was too good at boxing those up and shoving those away and focusing on whatever else.
In this case, she could enjoy the physical echoes of pleasure in her body and not wonder why they had seemed so important and life altering in the moment.
Emotionswould never change her life. She’d made a promise to herself.
So it was absolutely incomprehensible when Athan rolled her over to face him, looking grim and haunted and said, “I think we need to discuss your father.”
It was like being slapped across the face, and she didn’t for even a minute understand why he would say such a thing. Why he would… No.No.
She tried to edge off the bed, but he held her firm. So she gathered up all the ice and disdain she could muster—naked and still beautifully sated. “I believe I’ve made it clear that is not on the table.”
“It is onmytable.”
She kept his gaze and did not let herself think of the emotional toll of the words as she delivered them. “I don’t recall ever acting as thoughyourtable mattered to me.”
There was a silence, heavy and awful, because she feltguiltyfor saying something that was only the truth. That was only necessary. But she hated that it might land and hurt all the same.
He released her and she scurried off the bed. She needed to dress. To go handle her duties. To get away from allthis. What had she been thinking?
“Do you know when I realized my father was the devil and I did not want to follow in his footsteps to hell?” he asked softly.
He did not give her time to saynoor put her clothes on and flee. He just kept speaking as she scrambled about searching for clothes.
“It wasn’t when I hurt my mother by choosing Constantine, by being cruel to her.”
She found her shirt and nearly wept with relief, but he kept right on going.
“It wasn’t when I betrayed your father. It wasn’t even when I began to suspect that no amount of turning myself inside out to please Constantine would earn his approval or love in the immediate aftermath.”
“I refuse to listen to this.” She considered putting her hands over her ears, but even she could not lower herself to such a childish gesture. She pulled her shirt on with jerky movements, one of the sleeves was too twisted to allow her arm to get through and she did not know where her underwear was, so she simply put on her pants without them. She stalked away, half-dressed, in a panic she did not understand.
But he followed her out of his room, into the hall. Of course he followed, because he did not listen. He did not respect her lines drawn in the sand. He was an Akakios and did as he pleased.Always.
“It was when I saw you after your father’s funeral.”
She froze, unable to walk another step. She looked down, half suspecting an actual blade to be stabbed through her chest so visceral was the pain.
She never thought about that day. Not ever.
“Hiding. Crying.Sobbing,” Athan continued. Saying all the things she’d promised herself in that moment she would never allow again.