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Everything about the moment feels wrong. It feels like instead of letting Monroe board this train out of my life, I should be scooping her up and taking her home.

But, rationally, this is what has to happen. This is necessary in order to secure our future together.

When we finally break apart, I rest my forehead against hers, breathing hard.

“Go,” I rasp. “Before I lose my fucking mind and keep you here. I love you.”

She strokes my jaw. “I love you more.”

“I love you most, Tokki-ya. Go. Board.”

I stand back, stuffing my hands into the pockets of my leather jacket, and let her join the throng of passengers boarding the train. She gets in line behind a mother with a sleepy child in astroller and an older man clutching a suitcase wrapped in rope. One by one, the passengers disappear inside the train car.

The low hum from the engine deepens as the train attendant strides door to door, latching them in place.

Monroe appears in a window, peering out at me with a small, bittersweet smile. I nod at her, my expression empty while my stomach twists into itself.

The train begins to move, slowly at first, then gathers speed, departing the station.

I stand there until it’s a distant blip disappearing out of view. My phone buzzes from inside the pocket of my leather jacket.

It’s an unknown number.

I answer in silence, already aware something’s gone deeply wrong.

“She’s quite special. Your little rabbit.”

23.Monroe

I keepmy eyes on Jin until I can’t see him anymore.

As the train rolls forward, his figure begins to shrink on the platform, his black leather jacket stark against the faded concrete and weathered signage behind him. He doesn’t wave or smile, his face composed, yet his piercing dark gaze tells a different story—he’s barely holding it together.

This is extremely difficult for him. Maybe more for him than it is for me.

I press my fingertips to the warm glass as if I can feel his touch until the platform disappears behind a curve in the tracks and he finally slips out of view.

He’s gone.

I slowly pull back into my seat and drop my hands to my lap. It aches to breathe, both my lungs and throat constricted.

Over the last twenty-four hours, I’d prepared myself for this moment—orthoughtI had. I told myself Jin was right; this was the correct choice. We had to separate for now in order to give him time to eliminate the threats after us.

Jin couldn’t do that with me here. He’d be too distracted and preoccupied with ensuring my safety. He’s a captain in theBaekho Pa—it already looks suspicious how absent he’s been from his duties over the past week.

Sooner or later, someone would catch on if they hadn’t already.

We still don’t know who started that fire at his apartment.

Yet no matter how many times I tell myself this is the right thing to do, I still ache for him. My gaze drops to the inside of my left wrist where the mark he’d made so many weeks ago is still freshly inked on my skin.

It had once brought me so much distress. Now, separated from Jin, it feels like one of the only mementos I have of him.

I reach into my duffel and pull out a book to distract myself—a thick historical romance novel Jin picked up for me the last time he made a supply run. It’s funny that over the past couple of weeks he’s become a personal book shopper for me, searching for my next reads even without me asking. He seems to enjoy surprising me with a new book he’s picked up while out.

Always something he senses I’d like. Always something I do.

I crack the thick book open and let the pages transport me… or do their best.