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“Then what do you want me to say? You’re crying in my apartment over a ghost. How do you want me to make it better?”

“JUST STOP! I’ve heard enough!”

Monroe rushes past me, her small bare feet pounding on the floorboards. She bounds across the room and disappears inside the bedroom. Less than a second later, the bathroom door slams shut, echoing through the apartment.

I remain where I am, dragging a hand through my hair as I let out a breath. I resort to reaching for the soju bottle and chugging the rest of it, foregoing the glass altogether.

This is why I don’t do feelings. They’re messy and complicated. They make no sense.

Monroe’s in the bathroom now. Probably crying harder than before, and I have no idea how to fix any of it.

16.Monroe

“Put some pants on.”

I blink and lower the book I’ve been rereading—Jane Eyre, ironically enough. Of all the things to find on Jin’s bookshelf, the story of a woman who falls for her brooding captor… feels disturbingly on brand.

I’m at the part where Jane flees Thornfield, heartbroken and shattered. Now I look up at Jin looming over the couch with his cold, expressionless face and dark eyes I can never read.

“You’re taking me somewhere?”

“You’ve got five minutes.”

It takes me another second to get moving as Jin turns and walks out the door. Then I’m scrambling to my feet, a new current of nerves zapping my insides. For almost two weeks, I’ve been confined to the seven hundred square feet of Jin’s apartment. For many of those hours, I’ve had a cuff around my ankle, limiting my mobility.

I’ve almost forgotten what fresh air feels like.

Considering I still don’t have clothes of my own, I stick with the t-shirt of Jin’s I’m wearing and add some gym shorts andsneakers. I’m like a little kid playing dress-up as I emerge from his apartment swimming in his things.

Jin’s waiting by the caged elevator, hands plugged into the pockets of his leather jacket.

A flicker of humor passes in his eyes when he sees me. If I didn’t know any better, Jinenjoysseeing me wear his clothes. He finds it amusing how ridiculous it looks that his basketball shorts fall down to my shins and his shoes make my feet flop around as I walk.

It makes me wonder if he’s much more attracted to me than he’s let on. Why would he even want me in his things otherwise?

We descend to the underground garage in silence. I’m just excited to be included. I breathe in the warm air like it’s a lifeline, eager to find out where the night takes us.

Jin and I haven’t been on the best speaking terms. The other night we drank soju, kissed heavily, and then he had been so dismissive about Eli that I couldn’t bring myself to be in the same room as him. I’ve been avoiding him ever since. He seemed fine with it until now.

Does he possibly feel bad about it? Is Jin even capable of guilt in that way?

Jin’s Genesis G80 Sport sits in its usual spot, the sleek car dark and predatory like its owner.

He opens the door for me without a word.

The drive is quiet. Jin focuses on the road while I gaze out the passenger window, trying to guess where we’re headed.

Even after a year in South Korea, Busan at night feels like another planet. It’s a city that never fails to capture my attention with its splendor. I gaze at the distant city skyline and the stretch of the expressway, then glance over at Jin behind the wheel.

Neon signs blur past us, casting flashes of blue and pink light across Jin’s stoic profile.

An emotion I can’t describe wells up inside my chest. I’m at a loss for words, trying to decipher all the things the man beside me makes me think and feel. It’s like we’re enemies while simultaneously becoming something more.

I fear this man while trusting him with my life. I’m both grateful he’s saved me while also resentful he’s taken me like he has. Deep desire lurks inside me, somehow coexisting with the repulsion he’s capable of making me feel.

No one in my life has ever confused me more.

We climb upward, leaving the bright, glittering city behind. The road narrows into tight curves and winding bends lined with trees. My ears pop due to the change in elevation.