Page 96

I feel it in my stomach. The butterfly I spoke of has mutated into hundreds of smaller ones, fluttering away inside me. My palms warm up and every breath comes out with more difficulty. I inhale deeply, pushing past these sensory blocks.

Only Monroe would have this effect on me.

“I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Monroe snaps up beside me. Her head turns to face me. The expression on her face is startled, eyes wider than usual, brows higher and lips parted like she’s caught mid-breath. Then a shine sparks in her dark coffee-brown gaze and she slowly smiles.

“Me too,” she says. “I mean… I love you too, Jin. I don’t know how it happened, but you’ve made me fall in love with you.”

I slip my arm around her shoulders and pull her closer. “It’ll work out. Soon, we’ll really be together. And you’ll be free.”

We sit like this for a long time, Monroe tucked into my side, our fingers tangled. Eventually, the horizon swallows the sun and the sky fades from a golden hue to more violet shades. But we stay where we are, letting the darkness slip over us, aware that it’s what needs to happen for the future we hope for.

“Where else would you want to teach?” I ask Monroe hours later.

She lies beside me on the bed mat, her head resting on a pillow. Her fingers toy with the edge of the linen sheet betweenus, twisting it as she thinks. The moonlight paints a soft streak across her face, bathing her round features in its silverish hue.

“I’ve always wanted to teach somewhere in Africa. Kenya, maybe. Even Morocco would be interesting. I’ve read about Tangier and it sounds like such a rich and chaotic place… in the best way. It’d be hard, but I think it could be a great experience.”

I hum, the image forming in my mind—Monroe in the sun, the desert wind in her curls. “Is that wanderlust because your father was in the military?”

“I think so. We always moved around when I was little. It made the world feel huge and like some adventure to explore. I even thought about joining myself at one point. My dad was a linguist and part of me wanted to follow in his footsteps.”

“So what changed?”

“Eli…”

As she murmurs his name, the knot of jealousy twists inside my chest. It’s immediately followed by guilt as I remind myself there’s no need to compete with a ghost. Elijah Turner is part of Monroe’s past. She loved him and they had a relationship that meant a lot to her. These are things I have to accept. Parts of her that are important to know and understand.

“You knew him from a young age?” I ask.

“We started dating in high school. I thought it was so romantic because my parents met in high school too. But we were really young and I didn’t want to do long distance. He didn’t either. So we picked the same college and dated on and off for years. After graduation, we waited until we were settled into our careers and then got engaged. That was before…”

“The accident,” I finish for her.

She nods, quaking out a breath. “It’ll always hurt losing Eli the way I did. But I’m making peace with it. My mom was right that it’s time I start living for myself again. I thought I was doing that when I first moved to Korea, but I was still caught up in thepast. I wasn’t putting myself out there like I promised myself I would.”

“You’re a brave woman.” I reach down between us and link our fingers. Hers are much shorter and slimmer than mine, but fit well in between. “You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

She scoffs. “Sure.”

“Most people wouldn’t be bold enough to move to another country by themselves. Let alone after that kind of heartbreak. But you did it all by yourself,” I say, then pause for the smirk tugging at my lips. “Besides, you fight like hell when attacked.”

Her scoff turns into a bright laugh. “I’m sorry I kneed you in the balls.”

“And almost blinded me with that air freshener.”

“And threw a vase at your head.”

“And tried to stab me with a kitchen knife.”

“Twice,” she adds, giggling. “But can you blame me?! Youwerethere to kill me!”

“Exactly my point, Tokki-ya,” I taunt, squeezing her hand. “You fought fiercely. Even when that other hitman showed up—you gave him a run for his money. That’s admirable for a little rabbit like you. It’s good that you’re willing to do whatever it takes to win those fights. You’re disadvantaged, so you need to pull out all the moves you can to survive.”

She tilts her chin proudly, meeting my gaze in the dark. “I took women’s self-defense in college.”

“I could tell. That knee to the groin move was textbook.”