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“But I thought we agreed… I mean I thought we were staying together.”

“We are,” he answers, then he reaches up to touch my cheek. “But for now, it’s best if you are safe somewhere else.”

“How will I be safe if I’m away from you? What if something happens?”

“Monroe—”

“You said we’d stick together.”

“Someone is after us. I haven’t figured out what’s going on yet. Which means every moment you’re with me, you’re in danger. I’m a Ho-gwi in the Baekho Pa. I’ve already beenflouting my responsibilities the past few days. Eventually, I’ll have to return to work?—”

“So I’ll stay here. You gave me your gun.”

“And if someone discovers you? My friend can’t watch over the house all day every day. He’s a police sergeant with a strenuous work schedule.”

“You want to return to your old ways,” I say, turning my head to break away from his hand on my cheek. “I’m a burden and this is how you get rid of me.”

“Tokki-ya, I’m not getting rid of you. I’m sending you away for now.”

“For now,” I whisper. “Got it, Jin. I’ll just keep putting my life on hold for you. Because you haven’t taken enough away already.”

He calls my name, but I rush past him and escape out the back door. I’ve never felt more foolish in my life.

Here I was, envisioning a future with Jin, while he was plotting my exit. I sigh, folding my arms in front of myself, realizing I couldn’t have misread the situation any more wrongly.

22.Jin

Monroe won’t lookat me when I approach her at the shoreline. She’s parked herself in the wet sand, knees drawn up to her chest as the cool water laps at her small bare feet. I sit down next to her.

The afternoon is clear and breezy with no rain in sight. Gauzy white clouds streak the sky as the breeze blows in from the sea. The taste of salt lingers in the air as it always does.

We listen to the seagulls squawk in the distance while neither of us makes a sound. We simply sit side by side and watch the sea stretch out toward the glimmering blue horizon.

I clear my throat, eyes still on the water. “When I was a very small boy, my grandmother told me something I didn’t understand at the time.”

Though Monroe remains silent, I can sense she’s listening, so I continue.

“She said you can never keep a butterfly as a pet. That they’re too beautiful, too delicate. That they’re meant to be free. I didn’t get it, so I caught one anyway. Bright orange wings with darker spots. It fluttered right toward me, and I decided I would keepit. It looked like fire when it moved. I put it in a jar. Thought if I kept it fed—if I kept it safe—it would survive.”

Monroe sniffles, keeping her gaze straight ahead. “Then what happened?”

“The wing broke off after two days. It died,” I answer darkly. I sigh and stick a hand through my messy, windswept hair, pushing it away from my brow. “You’re that butterfly, Tokki-ya. I’ve kept you caged. I’ve kept you cuffed and dragged you through fire and blood like I could control the chaos by holding you close. But that’s not the life you deserve. That’s captivity. And you deserve freedom and peace. You deserve a real life.”

Her long eyelashes flutter and she pulls her knees tighter against her chest. Subtle moves that communicate she’s turning over my words. She’s realizing what needs to happen.

“I know it doesn’t make sense. I’m sending you away and promising this isn’t the end for us. But I swear to you—I’m going to fix this. I’m even going to find a way to stop the Baekho Pa from targeting you. I’ll bury every last bastard who still wants to hurt you,” I say, the muscles in my chest contracting from tension. “I just need time. It wouldn’t be safe—or fair—to leave you stuck in this house waiting for me to solve these problems. That’s why I’m sending you away. Somewhere you can breathe a little.”

Only more cries from the seagulls and waves from the sea answer me. The waves fizz and curl in around our feet. Pieces of driftwood and jagged stones float ashore. I scoop up a wet stone with grains of sand slicked onto it and run my fingers over the surface, giving Monroe the time she needs to think.

She leans into my side and drops her head to my shoulder, releasing a soft sigh.

“I know,” she murmurs. She turns her left wrist upward, the mark I inked onto her skin visible. “I get why you’re doing it. But I’m scared. So much can go wrong.”

“Yes,” I admit. “But our happiness is worth fighting for, Tokki-ya. I’ll die trying to make that come true. Do you understand how important you are? I’ll do anything to give you what you deserve. I…”

As I glance down at her, the words jam in my throat.

For once, I’mnervous.