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She was so close now that Jem could smell the sleep on her skin, could feel the warmth emanating from her and she couldn’t help herself. She leaned in, her lips brushing against Ellie’s, feeling that heat, feeling her core start to melt.

“No,” Ellie said gently pulling back. “Not anymore. It was one night. The night is over.”

“There’s never been any for me either,” Jem said. “Overnight visitors, I mean. There’s never been anyone that I’ve spent more than a couple of hours with, to be honest.”

Ellie looked at her with big, dark eyes.

“I’m changing, Ellie. For you. I don’t know how or why, but there’s something about you that makes me want to be different. I’m working for you, for God’s sake. I’m making an effort here. But it’s a long road, it’s a big ask.”

“It is,” Ellie said, nodding.

Jem didn’t know what to say. Her eyes were prickly with tears. She knew that Ellie had the right to feel the way she did, but it didn’t mean that she wasn’t disappointed. “I want to change for you, Ellie.”

“I know.” Ellie’s voice sounded none too firm either, like she was a fraction away from crying.

But the conversation didn’t get an end. Ellie’s phone rang and she grasped for it, looking away and answering it as though glad for the distraction.

Jem wasn’t listening to her, was busy thinking about how she could dig herself out of this hole. So she was surprised when Ellie offered the phone to her, looking worried.

“It’s Paul, the paramedic from next door,” she said. “He wants to speak to you.”

Jem frowned but took the phone. “Hello?”

“Listen, this is definitely some kind of code violation I think, but you are one of the bank Darlington’s, right?”

“It’s not a bank exactly,” Jem started.

“But you are, right?” There was urgency in his voice and it made Jem sit up straighter, made her feel wobbly inside.

“Yes.”

“Right, well you want to get down to St. George’s. I overheard over the radio and got as many details as I could, but I don’t know much. Someone called Rosie is on her way there. Rosie Darlington.”

“Shit,” Jem said and didn’t even remember to thank him before she hung up.

???

Ellie tried desperately to concentrate on her computer screen. She was tired, which didn’t help. But more than that, she was worried. Worried about Jem’s sister in law partly, but mostly worried that she was forcing the issue with Jem, putting her in aterrible position.

It wasn’t something she felt that she could compromise on. Honestly, she couldn’t. She wouldn’t be hidden. But then, she and Jem moved in such different circles, did it really matter all that much? They were unlikely to meet many of Jem’s friends if they started dating. Unless Jem wanted to go to places like the private club they’d been to last night.

Ellie fervently hoped that she didn’t. The place had been nice as a one off, but she’d felt out of place, not to mention badly dressed. She couldn’t imagine going to places like that regularly.

And then…

And then there had been all the rest of it. The smiling, the laughing, the touching, the kissing. It had been so long since there’d been anyone in her life that she’d begun to think that perhaps there couldn’t be anyone.

She’d slept like a baby just knowing that Jem was there, which was unlike her. She’d invited the woman into her home, which was equally unlike her. She didn’t know why she felt this way and she desperately wanted to find out, desperately wanted more, but she didn’t want to be a secret. And, to be perfectly honest, she didn’t want to destroy this party, didn’t want to risk anything.

“There you are.” Carys flung open the door like she’d been searching for Ellie for hours.

“It’s eleven o’clock in the morning, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.”

“Right,” Carys said, pulling out a chair and sitting down.

“And if you’re looking for Mo, they’re sourcing table linen.”

“No,” Carys said, looking shifty. “Not who I was looking for.”