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I rub my hand over my face in frustration.Yes, that sounds like Nico.“He never listened to me either, Lucky. Don’t blame yourself.”

She sniffs. “They told me I would have to pay for what he had taken, but I knew it just meant another debt, more time working for them. I went to Nico, asked him to give them what he owed.”

“Let me guess. He didn’t have it?”

She nods miserably.

Of course he didn’t.That was Nico all over.

“That’s when I met Jacey for the first time.” Lucky shrinks against me. “That was where it all went wrong,” she whispers.

I frown. “Jacey came to see you?”

“No.” She shakes her head vehemently. “Never. He never meets people directly, not even the triad suppliers. I told Nico this. I told him how dangerous it was to see Jacey’s face...” Her voice trails off, and for a moment we are both silent.

It’s not a comfortable silence.

It’s the tense, cold silence of utter terror, like a dark shadow creeping into the bed with us.

“I heard some local fishermen talking,” she says quietly. “The triad had paid to rent their boats for the night. The fishermen were angry. They all knew their boats were being used to collect a shipment of drugs from a big yacht moored outside the harbor. They hated the drug trade, but none of them dared tell the authorities—they knew they would die if they did. And besides, the fee the triads paid to rent their boats was more than most of them earned in a year.

“I was so stupid, Abby. I thought that if I could just meet Jacey, talk to him directly instead of the triads, that maybe I could convince him to let me go. I hid beneath the nets in one of the boats.” She shakes her head against my arm. “I regretted it the moment we left the shore.”

I squeeze her tense body in the darkness. I can imagine that fear all too well. The nighttime water, her dread as the boats headed out to sea.

“I decided to just stay hidden under the fishing nets and hope that nobody found me.” Lucky shivers. “But then I realized the triads were using the nets to disguise the drugs. I knew I had to get out or be found, so I slipped into the water and swam around to the front of the boat. That’s when Jacey saw me.”

My heart trips, then slowly resumes beating again.

“I didn’t know who he was, of course.” Her voice shakes slightly. “Not at first. He was standing on the bow of the yacht, smoking, staring down into the water. When I came to the surface, we were looking directly at each other. Then he just pulled out his gun and aimed it straight at me, like it was nothing, like I didn’t matter at all. The look in his eyes... so dead, like a fish left out on the shore too long. I couldn’t move. I could hardly breathe.”

Cold horror trickles down my spine.

I know that feeling. I know that look.

“Then a man shouted from the rear of the boat. Their navigation system had crashed, and he couldn’t fix it. Jacey wasstill pointing his gun at me, his finger tightening on the trigger, and somehow I found my voice. I blurted out that I was a computer programmer. That I could fix his system, if he let me.” She draws a deep breath, trembling beside me. “I did fix it,” she says, her voice a thready whisper. “But that was the last time I saw Thailand. When I woke up, I was on the Moei River, on a barge. Then I came here, to SK, and they put me to work coding fake sites. I’ve never seen Jacey face-to-face again.” She shivers. “I hope I never do.”

I don’t want to despair. I know from bitter experience that despair never helps anything.

But every word from Lucky sends me further into the darkness.

Don’t think about the future. About him.

Some shadows are too dark to dwell on. Even here.

Especiallyhere.

Lucky touches my face. “I will let you sleep,” she whispers. “I am sorry for what happened to you, Abby. Truly.”

I hug her tightly for a long time. “No more sorrys, okay? Not ever. We’re all here now, Lucky. In the same boat.” I squeeze her hard. “And we have each other. We’re family. Deal?”

“Family.” She gives me a watery smile. “That’s nice.” She squeezes my hand back. “Deal.”

Despite the pain and exhaustion wracking my body, I lie awake for a long time after she goes back to her own bunk, staring into the darkness, thinking of the shadows I ran from for so long.

I’d been waiting for those shadows ever since Juan Cardeñas got me out of that Bogotá prison. And in the last few months before I left Spain, when I heard the rumors of Juan’s death, I felt them closing in.

Why the fuck didn’t I just tell Dimitry the truth then?