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But after hours of being able to think of nothing but this moment, the one thing I’ve come to is that even if I know what I’m about to do will haunt me for the rest of my days, it’s better than living with the thought of Abby at the mercy of a bastard like Cardeñas. I’ve known men like this sadistic prick before, men who derive a sick pleasure from inflicting pain.

I, on the other hand, know exactly how to inflict thegreatest visual damage with the least pain. It’s not a skill I’m proud of, and right now, it’s small fucking comfort.

But it’s still better than the alternative.

“I’ll be back in five,” I mutter to Leon.

The chopper will take us back to the mainland, then Rodrigo will contact the triads at SK to send their transport to bring him back to the compound. It’s a risky move; it also screams transparency, which will help sell our story.

Rodrigo and I move down the stairs. Abby is standing in the middle of a luxurious salon, her back bared to me by the cut of her dress, which falls to the base of her spine. The fading bruises from Rodrigo’s last beating are still visible on her skin.

I grind my teeth and force myself to remain silent.

“Seriously, Rodrigo?” she says bitingly as the men fasten the hood over her face. “When did you get so fucking squeamish?”

Rodrigo scowls. “Que te calles, joder.”

Under normal circumstances, I’d lay him out for telling Abby to shut the fuck up. Unfortunately I have to settle for the small satisfaction of watching him grind his own teeth and clench his fists in frustration.

“Get on with it then,” Abby sneers from beneath the hood. “And make it good. We need to sell this.”

God, she has some guts.

I hate everything about this. And I’ve never loved Abby more.

Who the hell tells the head of a cartel to get on with administering a beating, while blinded beneath a hood?

I know men who’ve pissed themselves at much less.

Rodrigo puts his face close to her hood. “I’m going to enjoy this,puta.”

Except by the wary look he gives me, I know he reallyfucking isn’t, and somehow, that makes what I have to do slightly easier.

I step silently into the place he leaves and gauge where Abby’s features are.

Forgive me, God, for what I am about to do.

Then, bracing myself, I take the first shot.

32

Dimitry

Imanage to hold on to the contents of my stomach until we exit the helicopter at a small private airport near Bangkok.

To Leon’s credit, he doesn’t comment when I retch myself dry into the grass beside the hangar. Nor does he try to make conversation as he drives the rental car through a series of small back roads, avoiding the main highways as we head south.

I stare into the night beyond the windshield, so filled with crippling self-loathing I don’t know how I will ever face Abby again, let alone myself.

What kind of man beats the woman he loves into a bloody mess?

The fact that she never once complained only makes it worse. Her sole comments were incessant taunts to Rodrigo, asking if the blows were thebest he could do.

I recognize the technique. I know she did it to deny him the satisfaction she imagined he was getting from hurting her. At one point, she even jeered that he was using a hood to save his manicure.

The worst of it is that I almost laughed then. Almost rippedoff the hood and kissed her through the blood I made run down her face.

I also came way too fucking close to beating Rodrigo into senselessness out of sheer fury.