Page 137

That gets his attention.

Dimitry swings around, his face dark as thunder. “You were going to do fuckingwhat?”

“I thought of doing that because I knew you’d react like this.” I don’t back down. “Be angry and argue with me about it. But you didn’t even give me that amount of credit. You just saidnoand moved on like I’d accept your word as law.”

“Because it’s a fucking ridiculous idea!” His control is clearly hanging by a thin thread. “We’ve just managed to escape a variety of extremely ruthless criminals, who, if you’ve managed to forget, also beat you so badly that you’re still black and blue. We got yououtof that compound, Abby. The last thing I’m about to do is put you back into the damned place.”

“I gotmyselfout of that compound, Dimitry.”

He couldn’t look more taken aback than if I’d slapped him.

“I’m not denying that you burst into that hotel room at exactly the right time. Another twelve hours, and I’d have had a lot of trouble convincing Rodrigo to still trust me. But by then, I’d have thought of a way out of that, just like I found a way out of a compound most people don’t ever leave alive.”

Dimitry stares at me, his face unreadable.

“You forget,” I say quietly, “this isn’t my first rodeo, any more than it is yours. I survived two years inside El BuenPastor in Bogotá before I managed to bargain my way out of it. And after that, I succeeded in dodging Jacey for several years. Not to mention the entire Cardeñas cartel. You’re treating me like I’m one of Roman’s kids, someone who needs to be rescued and kept safe. But the truth is that I made the mistakes that resulted in us being in this situation, Dimitry. What I’m asking for now is the chance to help fix those mistakes.”

When he doesn’t immediately answer, I go on.

“Jacey could have killed me the moment I came into the compound, but he didn’t. He certainly could have killed me after he’d let Rodrigo have his fun the first time. The fact that he didn’t means I have some value to him, most likely to keep Rodrigo Cardeñas on his side. Jacey is a man who looks for weakness he can exploit. Rodrigo’s obsession with me, as he sees it, is one hell of a weakness. So long as he believes I’m Rodrigo’s drug of choice, he’ll keep me alive so he can control the supply.”

“That’s drawing a long fucking bow, Abby.” Dimitry’s voice is tight, his face unyielding. “And it still doesn’t explain why you want to go into that place again.”

“There are people inside those walls that I care about.”

And their faces haunt my every waking moment.

“People whose stories I know and won’t ever forget. Innocent people who deserve to be in that compound far less than I did. I’m not sure I can just walk away and forget them. I don’twantto do that.”

“What the fuck do you want me to say?” He stares at me, his face still hard. “That I think this is a good idea? Because I fucking don’t.”

“You haven’t evenlistenedto my idea!” I throw my hands up in exasperation. “All you heard was the part about me going back in, and you lost it—”

“Because that’s the only fucking part that matters!” Dimitryroars, finally exploding the last of his control. “I’m not interested in any idea that comes after that. I’m one man, Abby.One.There’s a lot I can do. I can get into places most people wouldn’t dare even try. I can kill a hell of a lot of people before anyone knows I’m there. And with your help, I can probably find this Jacey prick and knock him off once and for all. As for the Cardeñas cartel?” He throws an impatient hand into the air. “Alexei Petrovsky did business with the Cardeñas cartel in Miami for years, when he was working for the Orlovs. I’m sure he’s still got the contacts to set up a meet. If what you say is true, Rodrigo is probably already on the run from this Jacey, so if I manage to knock that bastard off, the Cardeñas cartel should be more than happy to make a deal.”

“Probably.” I glare at him. “Should.Are you listening to yourself, Dimitry? Are those the kind of odds you’d normally accept when you’re planning a mission? Because I can tell you right now, Jacey is the kind of bastard that takesprobablyandshouldand feeds them to the fucking piranhas. If you’d been listening to me at all, you’d understand that.”

I put my head in my hands, desperately trying to find the words to make him understand. “If we act now, if I walk back into that place with bruises all over my face, cowed and beaten and begging never to be sent away with Rodrigo again, we still have a chance. But every minute we hesitate is one minute closer to Jacey suspecting he’s at risk. And Jacey doesn’t tolerate risk, Dimitry. He just eliminates it.”

The silence that follows crackles with tension, but at least the edge is off my anger now. I’ve said what I have to say, or at least, I’ve said the hard part.

Now it’s up to Dimitry.

I take a very large slug of wine. The way I’m going since I got out of that damned compound, I’ll be a raging alcoholic by the time this is over.

Right now, I can think of far worse outcomes.

Dimitry stands abruptly and walks over to the pool, staring out across the valley to the moonlit bay in the distance, his hands on his hips. I don’t try to interrupt his thoughts.

Despite my torrent of words, I do understand why this is so hard for him. I know the man he is, the way he sees the world. I understand that even the thought of sending me into danger is complete anathema to everything he stands for.

But I also need him to understand that if he doesn’t, we’re all dead. Or on the run, forever looking over our shoulders and fearing for those we love.

The silence goes on for a long time. Then his broad shoulders lift in a deep inhale and slowly drop again.

When he turns around, the tension is still visible in the grim set of his mouth, the hard lines of his face. “I’ll listen to your ideas,” he says tightly. “But I can’t promise you I will agree to them. Okay?”

I nod. “Fair enough.” I know it’s the best he can do at the moment.