Page 56 of Last Fall

At least now I understood what happened at the end ofdinner.

Riley was jealous that it wasErikwho avenged Belle and got to beherhero.

“You need to know everything if you’re going to trust me.” He tugged my fingers until I met his gaze. “I have been violent a time or two but I am not a violent person. I don’t hold in emotions until I explode. I’m not a loose cannon. When I react it is with purpose and usuallyinkind.”

The rational part of my brain heard him and cheered, but the woman inside me who let a man use his size and strength to intimidate me, wantedtorun.

“Thatscaresme.”

He let out a strangled sigh. “It rips me up tohearthat.”

Which ripped me up in return. He was so patient. So understanding. “I left a bad relationship when I came toTampa.”

“And now that we’ve spent time together you’re thinking you should keepavoidingme.”

No. Yes? I really didn’t know anymore. My fears werecomplicated.

But Erik just might be the most wonderful kind ofcomplication.

“I’m confused andscared.”

I stared at ourfingers.

Connected.

Neither one of uspullingaway.

I wanted this. I wanted him. And I think...no, I was pretty damn sure...he wanted exactly the same thing. And that terrified me. Letting someone else get that close to me again, allowing them to have access to my heart, trusting them to not hurt me...as long as Erik and I stayed apart I didn’t have to think about any of this. But he stumbled into my life and I couldn’t ignore him anylonger.

I justcouldn’t.

“Would it help to know that you scare me too?” hewhispered.

I looked up and found him waiting for me, his eyes locked and pleading for me to hearhimout.

“I scare you?” How was thatpossible?

“The things I’d do for you, they scare me.” I couldn’t look away from the intensity in his gaze. “I told you how I feel about my family, the lengths I go to keep them happy. I already feel that strongly about you and we’ve barely gotten started.” His voice wavered attheend.

It sent my headspinning. “Erik...”

“I can’t help the way I feel, Zoe. You make me feel things when you’re around. Fuck, even when you’re not around.” He slid even closer, pulling my hands onto his thigh. “I like it but it scares me because I don’t really know you yet. I’m worried you’llneverlet meknowyou.”

Trust. Honesty. We both wanted the same thing and couldn’t have one without the other. “You’ve been so honest with me, Erik. I want to be able to return the favor.Ido.”

His gaze dropped to our hands again. “Why don’t you talk about him? Because ithurts?”

“Because I just can’t. I want that part of my life to...not exist.” I would set it on fire if I could. Watch the flames erase Tony from my life, then take the cold ashes and dump them in the middle of theocean.

“But it does exist. It’s part of who you are. Ilikewhoyouare.”

I yanked my hand free and pushed away, needing breathing room because he was forcing me think about the exact things I’d just told him I wanted to forget. The memories were all still so vivid. That was part of why I didn’t give them space in my life. It was as if I were right back in our condo inTexas.

Suffocating andhurting.

“I was stupid, okay.” I closed my eyes and held up my hands, trying and failing to force the feelings back. “I was not naïve or unaware—just plain stupid. I’membarrassed.” So embarrassed that I found it hard to function when I thought about it. When I looked back at my years with Tony all I saw was how dumb I’d been to ever start a relationship with him, let alone stay with him for five horribleyears.

Years I’d nevergetback.