Page 27 of Last Fall

“Does it ever feelnormal?”

“Nope.” He shook his head. “I spend half my life feeling like I just robbed a bank and any minute the cops will show up with my arrestwarrant.”

“Yes!” I said way louder than I meant to. “That’s exactly how I feel!” A strange, wonderful awareness settled between us and I think he was just as relieved as I was to have someone in the same boat with him for a change. “Sometimes I feel lonely, even when I’m at a partylikethis.”

“Because even though they all love you they can’t understandwhyyou’re overwhelmed and happy and scared and floating on a high and terrified of it ending, all at thesametime.”

“Yes.”

“I understand. Even on a team full of guys doing the same thing, most of them believe they deserve everything. Some of them do. Some of them are selfish entitled assholes who need to be taken down a peg or two.” He smiled. “It was nice when my brother landed his coaching gig with the Pythons. At least I had him to talk to. Do you have anyone to talkto,Zoe?”

“I have my writing group. Theygetit.”

I swear he looked a tiny, itty-bitty, little bit disappointed. “That’s good. I’m glad you have them.” The cake was gone now. “If you ever need someone else to talk to...I’mavailable.”

And I knew he meant that in more ways than one. So of course I panicked. “Erik. I...I haven’t dated anyone in three years. I’m not...I can’t.” Aw fuck. I couldn’t even string together a coherentsentence.

Thankfully he put his hand up. “Calm down, Zo. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly a high-pressure, fast-moving kind of guy.” Then he leaned forward in his seat and brushed his fingertips over the back of my hand, sending the best—seriously,the best—tingles over my skin. “I like talking to you. A lot. I’d like to keeptalking.”

Andkissing.

Or maybe that wasjustme.

I willed his fingers to keep moving. Touching. Sending those tingleseverywhere. “Talk?”

“Yeah.” He took my lack of protesting as a green light and wrapped his hand around mine. Lightly. “Talking is good. It means I get to spend time with you and,” he half-smiled and I fell a little harder for the lopsided dimple-grin, “and I get know a little more about youeverytime.”

“Uncle Erik!” Max screamed, coming around the corner. “There you are.” Her exasperation was kind ofadorable.

Erik didn’t let go of my hand as he glanced her way. “How can I helpyou,Max?”

“I need your help. You’re the only one who is good at putting together toys.” Then she sigheddramatically.

“Well then I guess I better get back.” He gave my hand another squeeze before standing up. “I have toys toassemble.”

Max marched over, wasting no time dragging him back toward the party. And even though he shot me a sad smile over his shoulder, I could also see how incredibly happy he was to beneeded.