Page 74
Story: Keep Her Safe
“And yet, you kept this from me. Something I should know!”
“You’re right, which is why I had every intention of telling you. I was going to tell you everything. My marriage to Heather is tied up in a lot of baggage that I don’t discuss freely. It’s attached to demons I spent years in therapy exorcizing.”
She stands up and begins pacing the room, something I know she does when she’s worked up and can’t sit still. “Damian, is there anything else I need to know? Anything that could come up? Something that paparazzi or gossip rags could find? A secret child somewhere?”
I shake my head. “No. Anything else I would want to tell you would be things that are more personal.”
She doesn’t say anything, she just leans against her desk, staring at the floor. I stand from the coffee table and make my way towards her and pull her into my arms. She lets me hug her and I begin to rub her back.
“Are we okay?” I murmur in her ear, fearing the worst. Maybe she feels betrayed or like I’ve lied to her. That she’s triggered by all the lies Paxton told her and this is too much that I’m another man that’s lied to her even by omission.
She nods. “I don’t like being blindsided. I don’t like secrets.” When her eyes meet mine, they’re watery and like the color of caramel, and if she wasn’t upset, I’d comment on how beautiful they look highlighted by her tears. “And I know it’s irrational to feel jealous but the fact that you’ve been married before is fucking me up a little.”
“I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me.”
“I could never hate you,” she whispers. “I love you.” She twists her mouth and lets out a breath. “But I just feel like we jumped into this and I don’t know anything about you.” She pulls out of my grasp and I already hate the wall she’s putting up between us. “Let’s just get through tonight and we can talk.”
“Maybe it would be best if you continued the night with your friends and I went back to the guesthouse.”
“What? No. The whole point was to get to know my friends better.” She shakes her head and pinches her brows together.
“So, I’m supposed to deal with your asshole co-star now? Who’s another problem by the way. He did this vindictive shit because he has feelings for you, Shay, and he’s trying to drive a wedge between you and me.”
She can’t actually think I’m going back in there to pretend everything is fine. That he hadn’t tried to ruin my relationship with her.
“I’ll admit, I don’t like the way he went about it but he does not have feelings for me.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“He doesn’t!” she says with a stomp of her foot and I’d actually think it was adorable if this were any other conversation.
“How do you know?”
“I’ve known him for years and Derek said he doesn’t. He would know!”
“You’ve knownmefor years and you had no idea about my feelings for you. Men can mask their feelings, though he’s really god damn obvious about his.”
“Fine. I’ll tell him to leave. Happy?”
“No, Shay. Nothing about this makes me happy. Which is why I said this was a line I didn’t want to cross.”
“It’s impossible to not cross this line! What do you expect to be the bodyguard that just fucks me behind closed doors?” she snaps.
“We are more than that and I resent the implication that you’re just a fuck to me. That we are just a fuck to each other.” I glower at her, because fuck that.
“Can we be more if you’re not willing to be with me out there as well?” She points to the window.
I don’t say anything because I don’t know what to say. This is exactly what I was worried about. Trying to find that line when it’s become so blurry. “I’m not suggesting we hide it, but we could be private about our relationship.”
“So, that’s a no on taking me to the Emmys then, got it.” She shakes her head with an eye roll. “Whatever.”
There’s a knock on the door and Shay snaps her gaze to the sound of the door opening and Veronica popping her head inside. Concerned blue eyes find Shay as she crosses the room and wraps an arm around her shoulder. “I told Jeremy to go. He was being a tool. Derek said he had a few drinks before he got here but like SO?” She looks at me and then back to Shay. “Do you want Derek and I to go too?”
“I don’t care,” she says and pulls away from her.
“Damian, can you give us a minute?” Veronica asks and I nod, grateful for the time away from Shay so maybe she will calm down a little. I know she’s angry and rightfully so,on some things.
I make my way out of her office and out the front door and I’m grateful that Jeremy didn’t linger because I can’t be responsible for what I say to that asshole. I slam the door to my house behind me with such force, the house rattles and a few books tip over on my bookshelf. As much as I want to have a drink, I’m not sure when Shay will want to talk and I don’t want to be intoxicated and say something I regret.
“You’re right, which is why I had every intention of telling you. I was going to tell you everything. My marriage to Heather is tied up in a lot of baggage that I don’t discuss freely. It’s attached to demons I spent years in therapy exorcizing.”
She stands up and begins pacing the room, something I know she does when she’s worked up and can’t sit still. “Damian, is there anything else I need to know? Anything that could come up? Something that paparazzi or gossip rags could find? A secret child somewhere?”
I shake my head. “No. Anything else I would want to tell you would be things that are more personal.”
She doesn’t say anything, she just leans against her desk, staring at the floor. I stand from the coffee table and make my way towards her and pull her into my arms. She lets me hug her and I begin to rub her back.
“Are we okay?” I murmur in her ear, fearing the worst. Maybe she feels betrayed or like I’ve lied to her. That she’s triggered by all the lies Paxton told her and this is too much that I’m another man that’s lied to her even by omission.
She nods. “I don’t like being blindsided. I don’t like secrets.” When her eyes meet mine, they’re watery and like the color of caramel, and if she wasn’t upset, I’d comment on how beautiful they look highlighted by her tears. “And I know it’s irrational to feel jealous but the fact that you’ve been married before is fucking me up a little.”
“I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me.”
“I could never hate you,” she whispers. “I love you.” She twists her mouth and lets out a breath. “But I just feel like we jumped into this and I don’t know anything about you.” She pulls out of my grasp and I already hate the wall she’s putting up between us. “Let’s just get through tonight and we can talk.”
“Maybe it would be best if you continued the night with your friends and I went back to the guesthouse.”
“What? No. The whole point was to get to know my friends better.” She shakes her head and pinches her brows together.
“So, I’m supposed to deal with your asshole co-star now? Who’s another problem by the way. He did this vindictive shit because he has feelings for you, Shay, and he’s trying to drive a wedge between you and me.”
She can’t actually think I’m going back in there to pretend everything is fine. That he hadn’t tried to ruin my relationship with her.
“I’ll admit, I don’t like the way he went about it but he does not have feelings for me.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“He doesn’t!” she says with a stomp of her foot and I’d actually think it was adorable if this were any other conversation.
“How do you know?”
“I’ve known him for years and Derek said he doesn’t. He would know!”
“You’ve knownmefor years and you had no idea about my feelings for you. Men can mask their feelings, though he’s really god damn obvious about his.”
“Fine. I’ll tell him to leave. Happy?”
“No, Shay. Nothing about this makes me happy. Which is why I said this was a line I didn’t want to cross.”
“It’s impossible to not cross this line! What do you expect to be the bodyguard that just fucks me behind closed doors?” she snaps.
“We are more than that and I resent the implication that you’re just a fuck to me. That we are just a fuck to each other.” I glower at her, because fuck that.
“Can we be more if you’re not willing to be with me out there as well?” She points to the window.
I don’t say anything because I don’t know what to say. This is exactly what I was worried about. Trying to find that line when it’s become so blurry. “I’m not suggesting we hide it, but we could be private about our relationship.”
“So, that’s a no on taking me to the Emmys then, got it.” She shakes her head with an eye roll. “Whatever.”
There’s a knock on the door and Shay snaps her gaze to the sound of the door opening and Veronica popping her head inside. Concerned blue eyes find Shay as she crosses the room and wraps an arm around her shoulder. “I told Jeremy to go. He was being a tool. Derek said he had a few drinks before he got here but like SO?” She looks at me and then back to Shay. “Do you want Derek and I to go too?”
“I don’t care,” she says and pulls away from her.
“Damian, can you give us a minute?” Veronica asks and I nod, grateful for the time away from Shay so maybe she will calm down a little. I know she’s angry and rightfully so,on some things.
I make my way out of her office and out the front door and I’m grateful that Jeremy didn’t linger because I can’t be responsible for what I say to that asshole. I slam the door to my house behind me with such force, the house rattles and a few books tip over on my bookshelf. As much as I want to have a drink, I’m not sure when Shay will want to talk and I don’t want to be intoxicated and say something I regret.
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