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“Not with anyone that I cared about.”
“Okay, so I’m the asshole because I started dating someone after you that I do care about? I’m the problem because this isn’t meaningless sex?”
“If this were any other guy on the planet, I’d say no, but I knew you always had feelings for him and you fucked around with me anyway. You used me because you thought you couldn’t have him.”
“That’s not at all what this was, Paxton. I did care about you! I did love you! You broke my heart! You don’t get to judge me for how or when I moved on!” I’ll admit it stings hearing that she loved him but I ignore it because she’s over it and him and wants to move on.
The intrusive thought that I’m just her rebound hits me like a fucking train. Something fun and sexy and exciting before she goes back to her life of glamour and rich men that can give her the world and not one whose only pro is keeping her safe in it.
He scoffs and puts his hand up silencing her and I resist the urge to break it. “Fucking please. You moved on in five minutes. Look me in the face and tell me you didn’t have feelings for him. Tell me that you didn’t ask him out and he said no.”
“I didn’t ask him out,” she snaps.
“Semantics, Shay. You know what the fuck I’m saying.”
“And what does that have to do with anything?” I interrupt. “Nothing happened while you and Shay were together.”
“I don’t know if I believe that,” he grumbles. I see the defeated look in his eyes and his demeanor. He knows it’s over. That he fucked up and there isn’t a chance he’s getting another. That Shay Eastwood is one of a kind and yet he treated her like he could find another just like her. “I’ll keep your precious secret, Shay. I’ll be the bad guy in this story.”
“I haven’t said anything to any media outlet. I haven’t even made a statement. I don’t want you to be the bad guy. I just want to move on.”
His eyes dart back and forth between me and Shay. “Can I talk to you alone?” he asks her and her eyes flit to mine. They’re not looking for approval; Shay rarely asks for approval for anything, except more recently if she could come, but I see everything in just the brief flash of her eyes.
It doesn’t mean anything.
Nothing will change.
I want you.
I’m not sure what he wants to talk to her about, and despite my reluctance to leave them alone, I nod and turn towards her house knowing this allows me to do a quick sweep. A soft hand slips into mine, stopping me from walking, and when I turn around, my gaze finds her warm brown eyes as she looks up at me through her lashes. She flashes me a smile that’s both sweet and sexy, and reaches up on her toes to presents her lips for me to take. I narrow my eyes curiously wondering why the show for her ex-boyfriend, but I oblige, pressing my lips to hers for no more than a second and then turn to walk towards the house.
As much as I want to stand at the window and watch, I can’t figure out if that’s the man she’s sleeping with or her bodyguard’s dilemma. I eventually decide that she’s safe with him and begin my walk through, ignoring the pang of jealousy. I’m still making my way through her top floor where her bedroom is when I hear the door open and close. It hasn’t even been ten minutes and I’m interested to see what he wanted to talk about and how it ended.
I’m surprised she hasn’t called for me or made her way upstairs and when I hear noises in the kitchen and the sounds of ice in a glass I proceed with caution, not sure what kind of mood she’s in. When I enter the kitchen, she’s leaning against the refrigerator, drinking a glass of clear liquid and I don’t know if it’s water or vodka.
“Want to talk about it?” I ask her, nodding my head towards the door. “What he said?”
“He told me about the ring.”
I stiffen, not expecting that but also not totally surprised. “He asked you?” Thoughts of him down on one knee, selling her on a life of wealth and security and whatever else he could offer her that I can’t come charging into my brain before I have a chance to tell myself she’d never marry him.
She winces, scrunching her cheeks. “Not in the traditional, man on one knee, ‘I love you and can’t live without you’type of proposal.” She sighs. “It was more of a, ‘I know I fucked up but how about a marriage of convenience? You can even keep Damian if you want.’” I blink in shock because how the fuck could he even speak those words aloud. “Did you hear me swooning from in here?”
A ghost of a smile pulls at my lips at her ability to make a joke even when she’s tense. She rolls her eyes and moves around the island in the center of her kitchen, hopping up on it like she’s done a million times. She grabs the loosened tie still around my neck and tugs gently pulling me closer to her. “I said no,” she whispers and I nod, not knowing how to respond and hoping she has more to say. “Do you want to know why?”
“Do you want to tell me why?” I give her a half smile so she knows she doesn’t have to tell me, but also if she does, we’ll still be okay. Whatever she said or he said, it doesn’t mean anything tous.
“He doesn’t think it’ll work…” She frowns. “You and me. That we are too different and eventually those differences will overwhelm our relationship.” She scrunches her nose. “He took two psychology classes before he dropped out of college to pursue acting and evidently, he’s Dr. Phil.” She purses her lips and years of experience tell me she’s trying to stop the tears from falling.
“Baby,” I rub her cheek, trying to calm the nerves I know are dancing beneath her skin. “It’s okay.”
“I want us to try.” Her hands go to my shoulders. “If you want. I don’t want him, I want you. That’s why I said no.”
I grip her hips and move between her legs for her to wrap them around my waist. “I want.”
She shrugs. “It’s going to be a little complicated at first, and then when people find out there will be a lot of questions and opinions. I’m used to that but I worry about you. It’s a lot for someone who’s never had their privacy violated.”
I rub my thumb gently over her chin and press my lips to hers. “Can you let me worry about what I can handle?”