Page 70

“Mmmhmm,” I say, without looking at her.
“How do you feel about that?”
“What do you mean how do I feel? It’s your house, baby. I feel fine with you having people here. Are you planning to invite people you don’t know?”
“No, and it might just end up being Derek, Jeremy, and Veronica because…I want you to actually have fun. I want to give my bodyguard the night off.”
“I don’t want the night off from being that.”
“Please, D. They don’t really know you aside from being my bodyguard and I would like them to get to know you as my boyfriend. If you’re here, I’m safe and you can let your guard down a little.” She cuts more of her French toast and swirls it through the syrup letting out another moan worthy of porn. “You’re sexy, you have a perfect smile, a big dick,andyou can cook. You really are god’s favorite.”
I snort even though I like that she loves these things about me. “Don’t try and butter me up.”
“I’m not. I just want to hang out with my friends…and you? As much as I love spending time alone, there’s going to come a time when you’re going to have to be around people in a social setting. I am going to need a date to the Emmys, you know.”
My eyes snap away from the pan to hers. “The Emmys are in two months.”
“Correct.” She nods.
I blink at her in confusion. “You want me to go with you?”
“As opposed to the other man who told me he loved me and spends his night fucking me senseless?” she says and though I know it’s a joke, I can hear the irritation in her voice.
“Will you be ready to sharethiswith everyone by then?” I ask pointing back and forth between us.
“Why not? You’re not my dirty little secret, Damian. I said I didn’t want people to know right now because things just ended with Paxton, but in a few months, no one will care. We could even show up on the red carpet for the first time together. Oh my gosh, people will go nuts.” She claps her hands and scrunches her nose in that cute way she does when she wants to get her way with me.
Nerves creep up my spine at the thought of being on the red carpet with her. Smiling and taking pictures and being a part of her world in a way I haven’t been before. “I don’t know about that. I can’t be watching out for everything with cameras flashing in my face.”
“Well, you wouldn’t have to worry about that?” She blinks at me.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Well, I assume at some point you wouldn’t be my bodyguard anymore.”
I give her a look of confusion as I pull the French toast off the pan and place it on a plate. “Run that by me again.”
“Damian, I’m going to need to get another bodyguard at some point. You can’t do this forever.”
“Says who?”
“Uh, you? You already said it’s complicated being with me and protecting me.” She frowns. “If you think for one second you’re going to break up with me because you would rather protect me than be with me because you don’t trust anyone else, think again. I don’t accept that.”
I move towards the table and sit down at the head of it so we’re seated diagonally from each other and pull her feet into my lap. I hate how well she knows me. If I were stronger, I would. I would tell her that keeping her alive is my number one priority and I don’t trust anyone to do it as well as I can. Would anyone take a bullet for her? Step in front of a car? Push her out of the way of a heavy light fixture that could have killed me just as easily as it could have killed her? You only have one second to make a decision and if there’s any hesitation it could cost Shay her life. I want to tell her that.
But I can’t.
“I wasn’t suggesting that.” I let out a sigh. “I want to do both, baby. I don’t want to choose between being the man that makes you come and the one that keeps you safe.”
“But…I don’t know how you can do both. You can’t be that arrogant that you think you’re the only man on the planet capable of keeping me safe.”
“It’s different. I have different vested interests in keeping you alive now.”
“I get that, but okay, say we’re still here in five years for instance; I would prefer the father of my children not put himself in harm’s way.”
She can’t be serious. And also, kids?“To save the mother of my children? I absolutely would.”
“You’re missing the point!”