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"I'll help you. Wait for me," she said. "I'm getting up and getting dressed. My mother wanted me to go with her to lunch in Santa Monica, but I got out of it."

"Maybe you shouldn't have."

"Naw, it's all right. She really didn't want me along. She likes to be with her girlfriends and rag on men, and she can't do it as well when I'm there. See you soon," she added

"Right."

I hung up and looked around the bedroom. Nothing was changed; nothing was disturbed. Despite my fatigue and nervousness, I was encouraged by Misty's call and returned to my room and got dressed to go downstairs and prepare some breakfast. It seemed so odd not to have my juice set out beside my cereal bowl already when I got there. Geraldine was always down- stairs before me. It was still not home in my heart, not solid as a truth should be that she was dead and gone. I kept expecting her to appear and to start dictating my daily chores. Geraldine's litany of complaints and self- pity usually ran like a sound track while I had my breakfast.

"Don't slurp your cereal, Cathy. Watch that you don't drip on my clean tablecloth. Don't hunch over like that when you eat. You'll ruin your posture."

Those familiar admonitions circled my head like bees, buzzing in my ears. She didn't have to be here for me to hear them. When would they go away? Would they ever?

I went about setting the table for breakfast, expecting the girls might all come at once. More than ever, I was eager for their company, their chatter, and laughter. I was even looking forward to Star and Jade's verbal fencing.

When the phone rang, I froze

and looked at it. Was it Jade? Star? Would either be calling to say she couldn't come? Would the excuses begin and would they all eventually leave me alone?

"Hello?" I said in a hesitant voice after I picked up the receiver.

"Mrs. Carson?"

For a moment I couldn't get myself to speak. My throat closed.

"It's Tom McCormick at the Unified Central Bank."

"Yes?" I managed, my voice cracking.

"You had asked me to let you know when the final wire transfer from Mr. Carson's account had been credited to your account. That was done late yesterday. Did you want me to have any of the funds shifted to your money market account?"

My throat tightened even more at the reference to my father.

"Mrs. Carson?"

"Yes," I said, realizing this was something my mother would have wanted done. "Please do."

"How much?" he asked.

I had no idea how much had been transferred from my father's account.

"Half," I told him

"Half? Okay. I'll have that done for you. Thank you, Mrs. Carson," he added, and hung up.

Was that wrong? Should I have said to transfer all of the money? Did he think it unusual and did that make him suspicious? Or had I gotten away with it, the first test? I cradled the receiver and stepped back. Maybe I could be Geraldine when I had to. Maybe I would be all right. I stared at the phone, half expecting he would call back to confirm what he had been told, insisting this time that he speak with Geraldine. My heart thumped in anticipation.

The doorbell rang instead, making me jump. Was it Misty? What if it was ...No, I thought. He wouldn't dare come back, would he? The bell rang again and again. I couldn't move. I heard a knock and then the bell. After another moment, I made my way to the front door, sucked in my breath, and opened it.

"Finally!" Misty cried. She had her arms filled with two large bags of groceries. She shot past me into the house. I stood there looking out at the street. It was quiet. No one was paying any particular attention to my house.

"Jade and Star will be coming along," Misty called from the kitchen. "Poor Jade didn't sleep much and has to do a lot of facial repair before she steps out. Star was making sure her brother was all right before she left. She's taking the bus."

Misty continued to unload her bags as I entered the kitchen. Then she turned and took a look at me.

"Ouch," she declared. "You do look like you had a hard night," she said.

"It was pretty awful." I was shocked to hear myself admit the truth.