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I told her about my date with Stuart, but I quickly went on to the photograph and to my not-soaccidentally meeting my father on the beach.

"I've got to think about this," she said. "If you call the police and complain, they'll only ask to speak with Geraldine."

"I know. What do I do?" I asked with some panic.

"Stay calm. That's the first thing. I need to think more. He knows he's breaking his agreement, but he probably thinks you're doing things behind

Geraldine's back and won't tell on him or something It's complicated. Why doesn't he just leave you alone? Have you spoken to Star?"

"Not yet," I said. "When I called, she was out with Larry?'

"Hmm. Well, let's schedule a meeting of the OWP's tomorrow late in the morning?'

"What about tonight?"

"Oh, I promised to go to the movies with David tonight, and I don't want to cause anyone to become suspicious about us," she added, but I had the sense that it was more like she didn't want to give up her date.

"Okay," I said.

"What are you doing tonight?" she asked, and I told her that Stuart was making dinner.

"We were hoping to have you all over."

"Oh. Maybe another time. David's taking me to one of my favorite restaurants on Melrose. Maybe Star will come or Misty," she added. "Tell them about our meeting. And don't worry too much. It will be all right," she insisted.

If only that all it took was her saying it, I thought.

As soon as I hung up, I called Star. Rodney answered and then called her to the phone.

"Sorry I didn't call you today yet," she began immediately, "but I had a big blow-out with Ma'ama. She was drinking, of course, and when she met Larry, she started to be disgusting and flirt with him. It made me sick with embarrassment and I let her know it. Granny came home and it was a horrible scene. Ma'ama ran out of the house and I hope she stays away for good. I'm supposed to meet Larry's mother and father tonight, too," she wailed. She was complaining and crying so much, I didn't have the heart to tell her about my problems, but I knew I must.

She listened and then after a moment of silence said, "I just knew that man was going to be more trouble. I could try to come over later," she said, "but it might be hard with me going over to Larry's house and all."

"I know. I understand," I said. "I'll be all right." I told her about Jade's plan for a meeting and she said she would be sure to be here. "Maybe Misty will spend another night with you," she concluded.

When I called Misty, however, all I got was her answering machine. I left an urgent message and then finally went to my bathroom to freshen up. I couldn't stop the trembling inside myself. Seeing my father like that so suddenly on the beach, hearing his voice and what he had to say had sent sharp shivers through my body. A montage of bad memories exploded in my mind. It brought tears to my eyes and for a long while, all I could do was sit on the edge of the bathtub and embrace myself as if I were two people, one trying to comfort the other.

I didn't realize- just how long I had been upstairs until I started to change my clothes and looked at the clock. It had been well over an hour. I rushed to cover up the redness around my eyes and tried to get myself to look calm and relaxed. I had put on one of my new skirts and blouses. After one final brushing of my hair and after putting on fresh lipstick, I started downstairs.

It was so quiet, I thought Stuart might have given up on me and left.

"Stuart?" I called. "Sorry, I was so long."

I made the turn at the base of the stairs, but stopped at the entrance to the living room. He was sitting on the sofa and looking rather odd, I thought. His head was slightly tilted and his eyes were glazed and full of confusion.

"Hi. Sorry. I got on the phone and you know how that can be when girls talk. It doesn't look like any of them will be coming tonight. Maybe Misty. I haven't heard back from her yet. Anything I can do?"

"The sauce is simmering," he said. "I've got dinner under control, but there is something you can do," he added.

"Oh." I went farther into the living room. Smiling, but anxious, I asked, "What?"

"You can explain this," he said, and held up the photo I had left under the magazine.

My heart felt like a yo-yo, falling, falling, falling until it almost touched the bottom of my stomach and then jerking up again only to bounce and wobble. Words fell over themselves clumsily in my mind as I tried to develop some sensible answer. My mouth actually opened and closed without my making a sound.

"Who would do this?" he asked.

I wondered if I could somehow ration the truth the way someone lost in the desert might ration her water. There was that part of me that didn't want to ration anything and that part of me that wanted to just gulp it all and stop pretending I could survive anyway.