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Finally, I cry for all the versions of myself that have existed through the years. Confused five-year-old. Sullen child of divorce. Furious nine-year-old. Inquisitive me. Defiant me. Dutiful me. So many incarnations, each one seeking answers, leading me to right here, to right now, to a potential truth I have no idea how to handle.
I’d hoped the shower and crying jag would invigorate me—a cleansing blast of catharsis. Instead, it only leaves me weary and prune-fingered. Since I have nothing dry to wear, I wrap myself in a towel and use a comforter from one of the twin beds as a makeshift robe. Then I sit on the edge of the stripped bed and check my phone.
Allie called while I was in the shower. The voicemail she left is jarringly perky.
“Hey, handywoman. It dawned on me today that you’ve sent me exactly zero pictures of the interior of that house. Get on that, girl. I want details. Cornices. Friezes. Wainscoting. Don’t leave a bitch hanging.”
I want to call her back and tell her all that’s happened in the past twenty-four hours. I don’t, because I know exactly what she’ll say. That I should leave. That I should come back to Boston and forget all about Baneberry Hall.
But it’s too late for that. Even if I wanted to leave, I don’t think I can. Chief Alcott will surely have more questions for me. Then there are my own questions—a list a mile long, all of them still unanswered. Until I learn more about what really happened in that house, I’m not going anywhere.
I text Allie back, trying to match her in perk.
Sorry! Been too busy for pictures. I’ll try to send you sexy wainscoting snaps tomorrow.
That task over, I tackle a second—another call to my mother. Unlike the first one, this time I want her to pick up.
My hope is that my mother can shed more light on my father’s association with Petra. Brian Prince was right—the two of themdidseem close in the Book. That doesn’t mean it’s true. Only my mother knows for sure. Only she’ll be able to assure me that my father is innocent.
For the first time in my life, I need her opinion.
Which is why my heart sinks when the call again goes straight to voicemail.
“Hi, Mom. It’s me. I’m still in Vermont, doing work at Baneberry Hall. And, um, we found something.” I pause, struck by the awfulness of the euphemism. Petra wasn’t a mere something. She was a person.A vibrant young woman. “We need to talk about it. As soon as possible. Call me back. Please.”
I end the call and survey the room.
It’s a dump.
The wood-paneled wall opposite the room’s sole window has been faded by the sun. A ceiling tile in the corner bears a stain worse than the one that was in Baneberry Hall’s kitchen, which doesn’t engender good thoughts. I look at the carpet. Orange shag.
There’s a knock on the door. Two tentative raps that make me think it’s the desk clerk coming to tell me the state of Vermont has deemed the place a health hazard and ordered the premises vacated. Instead, I open the door to find Dane standing outside.
“I’m sorry I broke your ceiling,” he says sheepishly. “To make up for it, I brought apology gifts.”
He lifts his hands, revealing a bottle of bourbon in one and a six-pack of beer in the other.
“I didn’t know how drunk you needed to get,” he explains.
I grab the bourbon. “Very.”
Dane correctly takes it as an invitation to join me. He steps inside and closes the door behind him. The presence of the alcohol momentarily masked just how damn good he looks. He’s in jeans and a threadbare Rolling Stones T-shirt that fits tight across his chest. There’s a hole in the shirt, right where his heart is located, revealing a patch of tanned skin.
“Nice shirt,” I say when Dane catches me staring.
“I’ve had it since I was a teenager.”
“It shows.”
“Nice blanket,” Dane says.
I twirl a corner of the comforter. “I’m pretending it’s a caftan.”
Dane uncaps a beer. I open the bourbon. There aren’t any glasses in the room—it’s not that kind of hotel—so I swig directly from the bottle. The first swallow does nothing but burn the back of my throat.The second proves to be a repeat of the first. The third gulp is the charm. Only then do I start to feel that welcome numbness creep over me.
“How did you find me?” I say.
“Process of elimination.” Dane takes a sip of beer. “I went to the house first. The police were still there, which meant you were staying somewhere else. Which in Bartleby means here.”