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And again.
Marta must see the recollection in my eyes, for she says, “When Katie was alive, I’d come into this room almost every night, just towatch her sleep. I loved her so much, Maggie. So very much. I never realized how strong a mother’s love could be until I became one myself. Then I knew. A mother’s love is fierce.”
She flashes me a maternal smile before inching closer to the bed.
“But then my husband took it all away. First Katie, then himself. And I no longer knew what to do with all that fierce love. Then your family arrived. ‘They have a little girl,’ Janie June told me. ‘A beautiful little girl.’ When I heard that, I knew I had to see you for myself.”
She jerks her head toward the armoire, not only her hiding place but her secret passage in and out of Baneberry Hall. She’d lived here long enough to know of its existence. My family hadn’t.
“I returned here night after night,” she says. “Not to hurt you. I had no interest in causing you harm, Maggie. I just wanted to watch you sleep, just as I had done with my own daughter. It made it feel like she wasn’t really gone. Just for a few minutes. I need you to understand that, Maggie. I never wanted to hurt anyone.”
One last memory hits me like a slap. Marta standing over me, watching. Only this time we’re not alone. I hear someone in the hallway, tiptoeing into the room to check on me.
Petra.
She screams when she sees Marta, who rushes toward her.
“It’s not what you think,” she says.
Petra makes a move toward the bed, trying to reach me. Marta intercepts her, gripping her arms.
“What are you doing here?” Petra shouts.
“Let me explain.”
“You can explain to the police.”
Petra breaks from Marta’s grip and runs from the room, heading downstairs to the only phone in the house.
Marta follows. I hear a scuffle in the hallway. Feet heavy on floorboards. A loud thump against the wall. Terrified, I slide out of bed and follow the sounds. Marta and Petra are at the top of the stairs,arguing. Marta has Petra by the shoulders, shaking her while saying, “Just listen to me. Please let me explain.”
I run to them, terrified and yelling and begging them to stop. I grab Marta’s right arm. She shakes it loose and swings it at me, the back of her hand connecting with my face. Her ring digs into the flesh beneath my eye—an inch-long scrape that instantly starts to bleed.
There’s another scream, and Petra tumbles backward down the stairs.
The memory ends, and I fall back onto the bed, unable to stay upright. All my energy is gone. The bed sways like a boat that’s been unmoored, at the mercy of the waves. When Marta sits on the bed’s edge, it’s at a canted angle not possible in real life.
“You killed Petra,” I moan.
“I didn’t mean to, Maggie. It was an accident. All a terrible accident.” Marta reaches for my hand and holds it in hers. “After it happened, I didn’t know what to do. So I ran. I knew the police would come for me eventually. It was only a matter of time. I spent that night waiting for them, feeling almost as scared as when I found my husband’s body up in that study of his. But something strange happened. The police never arrived. That’s when I knew your family hadn’t told them.”
She touches my forehead, which is wet with sweat. All of me is. A sudden leaking of perspiration that baffles me until my stomach begins to cramp. It’s a sharp, stinging pain that leaves me gasping.
“You’ve had the pie,” Marta says. “Good. That makes this easier.”
I try to scream. Nothing comes out but a few pained rasps.
“Hush, now,” Marta says. “It’s nothing to fuss about. Just a little pie with some baneberries mixed in.”
I clutch my stomach and roll over, the room rolling with me. Marta stays by my side, rubbing my back in a motherly way.
“I never really understood why your parents hid Petra’s death,” she says. “Even after that book came out, I wondered what theirthinking had been. It took me a long time to understand they thought you had done it, Maggie.”
Her hand continues to circle on my back. I wonder if she did the same thing with Katie when she was feeling sick.
“I have to admit, I was relieved. God help me, I was. I felt terrible about what happened. That poor girl. She didn’t deserve that. And there were a few times I thought about confessing. Just marching right up to Tess Alcott and telling her the truth. I didn’t because no one would understand it was an accident. No one would see it that way. I would have been punished for what happened. But when you get right down to it, haven’t I been punished enough?”
Marta pauses, as if waiting for me to agree.