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I swallow hard and wait with bated breath, my heart pounding in my ears, hoping she’ll say what I think she’s going to say so I can say it back. Hoping she will chooseme, for once in my life.

Please,pleasechoose me.

After what feels like the longest moment in my life, she opens her eyes once more. “You’re just a really great person,” Mariah says finally. “And I’m so lucky to have met you. And I’m really proud of you. And I can’t wait to watch every single Christmas movie you work on.”

I manage a smile, glad to hear what she wanted to tell me, but disappointed it didn’t include the words I wanted to hear most.

Reaching up, I caress her cheek while Mariah leans into my hand. “I can’t wait to be kept awake all night with nightmares after watching all the movies you get to work on, too.”

Mariah laughs. “Promise me if you do, you’ll call me? And I’ll tell you how I did it so you won’t be scared anymore?”

“Maybe we can FaceTime while I watch so it’s like you’re right there with me.”

Her eyes twinkle. “I’d love that. And I’ll FaceTime you for yours so you can fill me in on all the behind-the-scenes shenanigans. Like with the reindeer catastrophe on that one film you did.”

I giggle. “I’m not sure if I can ever top that level of drama, but I’ll try.”

The giggles and smiles subside, leaving behind a gnawing ache in the pit of my stomach, an acute awareness warning me that plans to stay connected don’t work out over such long distances and with short-lived friendships. Everything we are, everything we could be, ends tomorrow.

But we have tonight.

I don’t waste another second of it.

My lips find hers just as she reaches toward me, the softness of her mouth juxtaposed with the hard intensity of our mutual need for one another. Lips and tongues dance as our hands move over one another’s bodies, as if trying to memorize every crevice and dimple. My fingers lift the hem of Mariah’s shirt, and I peel it off her. Mariah lifts her arms and parts from me a moment so I can make her bare before me, reveal her beautiful full breasts displayed within her teal lace bra. I kiss them both, then press my face between them as she holds me, kissing the top of my head.

Mariah pushes me back so she can do the same for me, trailing a line of kisses up every inch of skin she reveals whilelifting my shirt, pausing over the hard, raised bumps of my nipples in my sheer bralette.

We press close together once more, skin on skin, continuing our soft, slow kissing. I unclasp her bra, letting the straps slide down her arms. She pulls my bralette over my head.

We kiss our way to the bedroom and sit on the edge of the bed as our hands explore, memorizing every inch of each other. I lean Mariah back and kiss my way down her belly and she sighs with contentment as her hands stroke my hair.

I pull Mariah’s tight pants off, leaving just her panties on, which match her bra—because of course she coordinates her underwear. I stroke her soft skin, admiring her, memorizing her, before my lips find their way down to where her legs part. I kiss her over her underwear, inhaling her scent, savouring it. I peel them down and kiss the top of her mound, then continue kissing down her legs to her feet, where I plant another kiss on the insole of her left foot. My hands caress her thick calves, then back to her thighs, where I settle in between them.

“I’m going to miss this,” I murmur before tonguing her softly. My fingers, tongue, and lips work in unison without me having to think about what to do next. Our bodies sync up, me understanding what she needs just from listening and feeling for her. Moments later Mariah’s body coils and tenses around me, she makes the most beautiful sounds in the world and comes so sweetly, unravelling before me. I feel blessed to bear witness to something so pure, primal, and raw.

When she finishes, Mariah pulls me up and cradles me against her breasts. I tuck my face into her neck and hold her tight. After a few seconds she begins to shiver, and we pull the blankets over us, pretending we’re the only two people in the entire world. Maybe I wish we were. We tangle up in one another again, rocking our hips together as we kiss slowly and softly, simply enjoying each other’s touch, trying to soak up every last second of it before it comes to an end.

Our kissing becomes more intense, fervent, and Mariah leans me onto my back. She strokes the side of my breast as she lifts herself to look into my eyes. “Can I please kiss you?”

I understand what she means when she glances down the bed. My body immediately tenses, and she responds by kissing my neck.

“Don’t think about trying to get anywhere. There is no plan, no end goal, no destination. It’s just you and me. And when you’ve had enough, I’ll stop.” She lowers her mouth and whispers in my ear, “But I’d love to kiss you everywhere.”

Exhaling slowly, I give her an almost imperceptible nod. Mariah doesn’t move from where she is, continuing to kiss my neck, to suck on my earlobe, as her hand slowly works its way down until she’s cupping me. That’s all she does, simply holds me, and I can feel my body begin to soften at her touch.

“Close your eyes,” she whispers, and I oblige. Every nerve ending is heightened, and I feel surrounded by her, enveloped by her, acutely aware of every square inch our bodies are touching.

Mariah takes her time moving down my body, pausing to lick along both of my collarbones, to suck each of my breasts into her mouth, and then lower, to the jut of my hipbones and the hollow of my pelvis. By the time she arrives lower I feel as though I’m half-conscious in an erotic, meditative trance, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I wake up in a minute and this will all have been an intensely sexy dream.

With every bit of care she’s had for the rest of my body, Mariah takes my centre gently, stroking and licking my labia, sucking on my clit, until she deftly brings two fingers just inside, curling them up and massaging. I know she told me we’re not on a journey, but that’s exactly how I feel, like I’m being expertly led along a pathway and Mariah is my guide. It’s like she’s holding my hand, and I’m safe and I’m loved and I know everything will be okay.

My body relaxes around her, opening for her, and as it does,I feel myself begin to quicken. I don’t stop to analyze these new sensations, to understand what’s going on—I simply let myself be here with her.

Mariah’s fingers go deeper, pressing firmer, her tongue matching the intensity. My breath becomes bated, then ragged. I feel myself aching, then throbbing, and suddenly the path is a mountain and we’re climbing it together, and now my breath is short gasps and my whole body tenses, tenses, tenses...

And explodes, releasing in a dizzying wave, cascading through my entire being in tingles and rushes. I don’t know what sounds I’m making, and I don’t even care, I’ve never cared less about anything in my entire life. Mariah is right there with me for every second of it, holding me and guiding me, until I float back down to earth.

Mariah comes up beside me just as I begin to shiver. She pulls the blanket onto us and tucks my face into her neck. The shivers are so intense I feel as though I’m convulsing, and after a few seconds something in me breaks.