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“Jace is gone.” He repeated quietly, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

Alyssa’s chin quivered. She fought to hold the tears in. “Want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

She placed a hand on his chest and felt his heartbeat underneath her palm. “I think it would help if you did,” she said. “Maybe a little?”

The breeze caused the branches to sway and allowed the moonlight to filter through the trees. Alyssa got a glimpse of the emotions running across John’s face as he stared down, but he wasn’t looking in her eyes, he was staring at her shoulder. Like he couldn’t make eye contact with her. He was vulnerable right now and allowing himself to be open. She was hurting too, but not nearly as bad as John was. She couldn’t begin to imagine the pain he was feeling or the thoughts running through his head as another thick tear rolled down his cheek. She wanted to kiss the tears away and remove his pain.

John’s hands began skimming up her arms, over her shoulders where he squeezed them lightly and then landing on the sides of her neck. Alyssa shivered at the touch of his fingers. He gently tilted her head back and their eyes met … and her heart broke.

John was crumbling inside. His eyes said it all. Gone was the vibrant ivy green that she had come to love and in its wake was a deep, melancholy green with honey amber tones. They reminded her of a tiger, not in the he was ready to pounce and lay claim kind of way, but instead that of a small cub—defenseless and unsure of his path kind of way.

And that just broke her inside.

John pressed his forehead to hers and his lips parted. He heaved a heavy sigh. John didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to either. Alyssa could feel it as his trembling hands caressed her jaw. He was asking for more, but not taking it.

Tilting his head, John’s voice was barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry for what I said to you, Alyssa.” She pinched her eyes shut and shook her head. At the time it hurt, but she didn’t want to think about it now.

Swallowing, she said, “It’s over with. Don’t worry about it.”

But John didn’t stop. “No, it was wrong of me. I shouldn’t have said it.”

“Johnny, it’s okay.” She reiterated.

“Do you need to be home soon?” he asked. He hoped she didn’t have to.

“No.”

“That’s good. Do you think …” he stammered, “do you think we could just lay here on my truck bed for a little while? I’m not ready to go home yet.”

“Of course.”

“Just a sec.” John let go and walked to the passenger door. He pushed the seat forward and grabbed the towels he kept as spares in the backseat. He had learned to be prepared whenever he and Jace wanted to go mudding.

Him and Jace … tears sprung to his eyes.

John walked back to the truck bed. He climbed up and layered the towels, trying to create as much cushion as he could for Alyssa. He wouldn’t feel the hardness, but he wanted her to be comfortable. Shrugging, he looked at her and said, “This is about all I could do. Sorry …”

“No need to be sorry, I have you to snuggle up to.”

The diminutive smile she saw for a split second on his face made her happy. Alyssa climbed up and sat next to John. He propped an arm behind his head as he lay back. She curled up next to him and rested her head on his chest, draping an arm over his stomach. John wrapped his free arm around her waist and pulled her closer, dropping a kiss to her head.

“Thank you,” he whispered. John’s chest ached, but Alyssa soothed him with her presence. What would he have done without her?

“I probably should have called Ford instead,” he said quietly, staring at the starless night sky. “But I couldn’t imagine being with Ford after what happened tonight. I could only think of you. I needed you.”

Sure, their relationship had been rocky the last few weeks because of his dickhead comments, but they were still friends, nearly best friends. John didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, but he was sure of one thing he cared for her deeply.

Nearly an hour had passed as they laid there listening to the crickets in the stillness of the night. It was peaceful even though there was turmoil in his life. Like they were in their own bubble and nothing could hurt them. Rolling over, John pulled Alyssa to her side and looked at her sleepy face.

“I’ll take you home soon. You look tired.”

She shook her head. “Let’s stay here tonight,” she suggested in a groggy voice. “I have to work in the morning so we’ll have to leave early, but let’s stay here.”

“You sure?”

“I am.”