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“I can’t … we can’t. I’m sorry.” John said nothing, so she continued. “You said we weren’t going to kiss anymore.”

“I lied.”

“John …”

Stepping back, John readjusted his throbbing cock as Alyssa watched. He was trying to keep his cool but it wasn’t working. Her eyes widened and her tongue slipped out to lick her lips. He was going to have blue balls for sure after this.

“Fine. I need to leave anyway. It’s late and it’s been a long day.”

“Where are you going?” Alyssa asked, following John out of the kitchen.

“Back to base.”

“Oh,” she responded, looking at the tile floor. “I thought you would stay the night since it was the weekend and all …”

John sighed loudly, running a hand down his tired face. Spinning around, he said, “I’d love to stay the night, but you just pushed me away, again, and truthfully, I don’t know if I could lie next to you and not touch you. I fucking want you, Alyssa. And you don’t seem to get that because you need some sort of motive behind it. Haven’t you ever just wanted something for no reason other than a feeling inside of you? You’re tempting me with your sexy-as-fuck body doing such simple, mundane things is hard on me. I know you told me to push, but you aren’t the only one who’s being pushed. This isn’t easy on me either, sweetheart.”

Incredulously, she asked. “How am I pushing you?”

“You’re playing with my emotions. One minute you’re all over me–all hot and sexed up, nails digging into my back, your sweet body on mine–and the next minute you’re pushing me away. You’re giving me whiplash. It’s partially my fault, but it’s hard for me to keep my hands off you. Especially now.”

“Especially now? What does that mean?”

John glanced at Brooke’s room. “I don’t want to wake her up. Can we talk in your room?”

Alyssa nodded and he followed her to her room where she sat on the bed. Shutting the door, John said, “Especially now, meaning that last night was a mistake, it should’ve never happened. Just like our first kiss. You know, you were right about that.”

John was letting it all out. There was only so much he could take until he snapped.

“About what?”

“That nothing good could come from a kiss. Those were your exact words. And you were right. Nothing good has come from it. It’s been nothing but heartache.” The anguish that cut through her blue eyes made John feel like shit. He wasn’t purposely trying to hurt Alyssa, but he needed to tell her the truth. Just because he was a guy didn’t mean he didn’t have feelings either.

“One night with you will never be enough, especially after last night. That’s all I mean.” John lowered his voice and walked over to her, the side of his mouth tugged into a half grin. “I want you again and again and again. I love the way your body looks and seeing you come out of the shower in a tank top and old boxer shorts has my mind running wild. It took all of me not to tackle you to the floor. I see the way you are with Brooke, and after I spent all day with her, I have more respect for you than ever. I honestly couldn’t wait for you to come home. So while I said I would keep my hands to myself, it’s not easy like I thought it would be. You’re beautiful, a goodhearted caring mother. Babe, that’s sexy as fuck. So, yeah, last night was a mistake only because I want you more now and I can’t have you. It was a night I’ll never forget, and probably the best night of my life.”

Alyssa was rendered speechless. All she could say was, “Oh.”

“Oh?” he chuckled.

“Oh.”

“This is what’s going to happen. We’re going to get in bed, put a movie on and go to sleep … together. I will try my best to keep my hands to myself, but I can’t promise anything. And when Brooke wakes up in the middle of the night, I’ll be the one to get up, not you.”

“But you were with her all day. It’s late, you must be tired …”

“Babe, I got this.”

“You’re like a dream come true.” She said softly.

“No, honey. You are. Now let’s eat and then crawl in bed together.”

Alyssa couldn’t remember the last time she slept so soundly. Slowly opening her sleepy eyes, she glanced at the clock.

7:00 am

Her body was on autopilot. She couldn’t help but wake up.

As she went to sit up, a strong arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her back to bed. “Uh uh. You’re not going anywhere,” Johnny grumbled in her ear. He curved around her body, molding himself to her and burying his head in her hair. His strong hold around her belly didn’t allow Alyssa to move … not that she wanted to. The heat of his body warmed Alyssa’s back and she liked being snuggled up next to John. He felt safe. John grabbed the blanket and pulled it up. “Shhh … go back to sleep. It’s so early for a Sunday.”