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“And?”

“And I didn’t feel like talking to you. Still don’t.”

“Johnny …” she said sadly. She wanted to help him.

“What, Alyssa?” he snapped. “Just go home. I don’t feel like seeing you right now.”

Alyssa pulled back. “What’s gotten into you?”

John ignored her as he walked away. “Let me think. My friend is hanging on by a thread? Does that answer your question? Whatever … I’m leaving. Going to see Jace.”

“Johnny,” she yelled, running for him. She grabbed his arm to stop him but he yanked it away. “Get the hell away from me.”

“I know you’re hurting, Johnny, I am too, we all are. But you don’t have to take your frustration out on us.”

Hurting wasn’t the right word, it was more like he was dying inside. Sinking slowly to the bottom and drowning. John needed to get Alyssa away from him. He needed to be alone to collect his thoughts. He needed to drive to the hospital as fast as he could. What kind of friend was he sitting here getting drunk when he should’ve been at Jace’s bedside?

Spinning around, he locked eyes with Alyssa. Man, she was like an angel. A breath of fresh air. He wanted to hold her, he wanted to feel like everything was going to be okay, he needed to feel her heart beat with his, but he couldn’t. He needed to get as far away as possible. He needed so much right now he couldn’t think straight. So he thought of the meanest thing he could say to get her gone.

“Why don’t you go hang out with that white trash friend of yours you like so much and leave m

e alone.”

Alyssa tilted her head to the side. Pursing her lips together she said, “Who?”

“That degenerate, Ben. You guys are perfect for each other. You’re the kind of easy he likes.”

Alyssa sucked in a breath. “You don’t mean that.”

“Every. Word.”

“Dude,” Ford chimed in. “That’s fucked up.”

“Fuck off, Ford.” John stalked forward, never leaving Alyssa’s eyes. “Didn’t take me long to get inside you, did it? It shouldn’t take Ben long either.”

“John … you’re just saying that because your emotions are all over the place. I know you don’t mean it. Remember what you said last night at my house? That’s how I know you don’t mean it.”

Of course he didn’t. “Yeah, well it was all a lie. I wasn’t thinking clearly. Every word I said was a lie, but you can believe it if you want. Whatever helps you sleep at night, right? Ben can have you since I’m done with you,” he said, throwing open his truck door.

“Take it back,” Alyssa’s voice cracked, and she shoved him.

John snickered, the stench of beer heavy on his breath as he fell into the door from her little shove. “Nope.” Alyssa pushed him again and said, “You’re an asshole. I’m so glad I kept quiet last night now.”

John growled under his breath. What a way for her to get back at him. He felt like an even bigger asshole now for saying he loved her.

“Alyssa,” Ford said, grabbing her forearm. “Just let him go.”

“Yeah, let me go and be the asshole that I am.” John jumped in his truck and slammed the door. He turned the ignition and rolled down his window.

“Didn’t you just say that he drank too much? We can’t let him leave, Ford!” She ran to John’s driver side window and pleaded with him to not drive.

“Don’t worry about it.” Ford pulled her back when John put his truck into gear.

John looked at Alyssa one last time before he sped off. He could see the pain in her eyes and felt it too. His stomach was tight and his head pounded. It hurt just for him to say what he did, but he had to. He waved with a finger, smirking as he sped out.

“Ford—”

Ford was running for his truck. “I’m going to follow him, Alyssa. It’s okay, go home.”