Page 115

“I don’t know!” I sat on the end of my bed,shoulders slumped in defeat. “I believe that Matt loves me. I don’tbelieve I deserve it, maybe?”
“Then go to therapy! In New York! Where thehot rich guy who’s madly in love with you is waiting for you!” Shejabbed her hand toward the door frantically. “You are living thedream, and you want everyone to wake you up?”
Thirty billioncouldbuy a lot oftherapy. Maybe even enough to make me normal.
“I don’t know.” I tossed the phone down onthe bedspread. “Things were so much easier when we were at theresort.”
“Oh, wow, shocker, life was easier when youwere on vacation.” She rolled her eyes so epically I was sure theywould sever from the optic nerves and fall right out. “Go to kinkclubs, if it’s such a problem for you to be in the real world formore than twenty-four hours at a time.”
I frowned. “I don’t think I’m going to findmany kink clubs in New York City.”
“False!” Now, she turned her jabby finger inmy direction. “There are, and they’re totally legal. I saw adocumentary about it on YouTube. They’ve got licenses andeverything.”
“It’s not about the kink. It’s about—”
“It’s about the money, about him valuing youmore than dollar signs, I get it. But it’s tired, Charlotte. Thereisn’t any reason you shouldn’t be with him.” She let out along-suffering sigh. “I’m going to get a car home. Don’t talk to meagain until you’re in New York.”
“Come on, do you think it’s healthy for meto move in with a guy I—”
“I said don’t talk to me again until you’rein New York,” she reiterated, grabbing her purse. “Do with thatwhat you will.”
My jaw dropped. “Sarrah—”
But she walked out.
I sat motionless, trying to process the lasttwenty minutes of my life. It all came up error screens. Scott hadbeen against the relationship. Now, he was our biggest fan. Sarrah,who once gave me an hour-long lecture about financial autonomybecause I’d cosigned on an ex’s car lease, thought I should tossout my entire life for a rich man.
Who were these people?
Why were they right?
I fell back on my bed and closed my eyes. Iwanted to believe I was being pushed into calling Matt, that Iwasn’t choosing to be with him, that I was bowing to pressure. Thatwas bullshit. Barriers I was setting up in advance, in the hopes itwould hurt less when Matt rejected me, or when I got scaredagain.
I was tired of trying to come up withreasons to run that I could comfortably fall back on. Maybe, forthe first time in my life, I needed to see something through.
Matt was worth it.
If he would even answer the phone, that was.Since he’d ignored all earlier communication, I didn’t have highhopes as I listened to the call ring in.
“Hey, princess.”
My whole body went weak at the sound of hisvoice.
“I’m sorry I didn’t pick up before,” he saidhesitantly, as if he was worried he was in trouble. “Scott told menot to talk to you before he did.”
“Oh, he told you that, did he?” I wanted tobe pissed off, but Scott knew me too well. If I’d spoken to Mattearlier, if he’d tried to bring up the subject of poeticism versusreality before I’d seen the evidence, it would have been unlikelyto sway me. “Did you really write him that check?”
“Of course, I did. I would have gone out andgotten him cash, if he’d told me to.” Matt paused. “Well, maybe. Idon’t think I could get that amount of printed cash within aday.”
“I’m pretty sure you couldn’t get thatamount of printed cash, full stop. So, remember, when the computersrise up, you’re going to be as broke as everybody else,” I warnedwith a miserable little laugh. “You’re not going to let him jumpinto our relationship and interfere every time I make a decision,are you?”
“Only when that decision scares the hell outof me. I allowed him to interfere because… He said I was losingyou. And it confirmed the fear I’ve had all day.” Matt paused.“Charlotte. Am I losing you?”
I squeezed my eyes shut and let the tearscome. “You were.”
“That’s past tense,” he said quietly. “Whatabout now?”
“You’re not.”