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“They are insufferable.They make me want to pull my hair out, run to the Swamps of Dagobah, and practice my mastery of the Force."

“Really?A Star Wars reference?You think that’s appropriate?”

“Yes, a Star Wars reference, a very appropriately placed Star Wars reference, I might add.That alone should tell you how bad things are.Ilovethose movies.At least I love the first three, which are now the second set of three, which makes no sense, but everyone thinks they can make a buck by adding to what was already perfect.However, I digress, and we don’t have time to discuss the craziness of the entertainment industry.There are times I think about telling Justice to handle all those idiots who haven’t had a new idea in a century, but I fear she will once again turn into the Queen of Hearts and the words, ‘Off with their heads,’ will ring out over the whole universe.”

“Yeah, please don’t tell Justice how you feel.She takes that shit way too seriously–especially whereyouare concerned.She loves you the most of all.”

Acknowledging his Cousin’s attempt at humor, Hopper gave a single nod.Then, inhaling deeply, as if he needed to breathe to continue, and even though he was an Omnipotent Being who didn't need to breathe to survive, he kept right on going.“As I was saying before my Star Wars rant–which will be continued at another time–Faye and Desi are bad, Pat.Really bad at not sticking their noses where they most assuredly do not belong."

Instantly infuriated all over again with his fists clenched at his sides, Hopper tried another inhale and exhale, but it was no use.He had to get out the rest of what was bothering him or risk imploding, and there was no one better to vent to than Pat.His Cousin was, well, he was patient and kind and never judged.After all, judging was their Cousin Justice's job–and no one ever went to her for life advice, because the one time Charity did just that, Justy issued a decree for the death of Tyrus, the Tortoise King of Turtle Island for a simple lover's spat.Before things got too far, their Auntie, Mother Nature, had to step in and calm the waters, so to speak.It was a story that was still told during holiday meals and any time Auntie Uni was looking for a teaching moment.

“Okay, I’ve just gotta get this out.It’s not gonna make much sense, and worse yet, I’m gonna sound like a spoiled brat, but I’ve been acting that way since you first walked into the room.So, …”

“Stop, Hop,” Pat interrupted.“There’s no need for clarification or explanation.We’re Family.Just go for it.You spit it out, and we'll figure out what to do from there.We both know that you can’t find the solution until you’ve voiced the problem aloud and heard the words for yourself.It is your process, and one that I quite admire.”

With no further hemming or hawing, Hopper did just that.He shut off his overactive mind, opened his mouth, and let the words fly.“I just need everyone to stop with the matchmaking.Stop with the party planning.Stop talking Hel up to me and me up to her.I…”

“I don’t think…”

“Stop.”He shoved the palm of his hand toward Pat to emphasize his need to finish what he was saying.“I knowyou’renot doing it.You wouldneverdo that.You not only have the patience of a saint, You.Are.Patience.You can wait and not push or prod or drive me crazy because somewhere deep inside, you know whatisgoing to happen and how long it will take for that something to occur, and you’re okay with having the knowledge but not being able to see where any of us are concerned.Waiting doesn’t bother you.You know we’ve got Forever with a capital F.But you can be just as sure as God with a capital G made little green apples that Faye and Desi have enlisted the help of Faith, Charity, and especially, Liv, the Valkyrie who just happens to be one of Hel’s very best friends, and are doing everything in their considerable power to bring my name up to my beautiful Mate every chance they get.”

“They are just…”

“Iknowthey’re just tryin’ to help.I know they’re doin’ it because they love both of us so very much.And Iknowtheythinkthey’re helping, butthey are not, and I need it to stop.At this point in time, I don’t give a hill of beans, a good gosh damn, or my left big toe that Hel and I were made for one another.I do not care that Auntie Uni literally designed me for the Norse Goddess of Helheim before Hel was even a glint in Loki’s eye.Nor do I give a rat’s ass that before she was a gleam in her daddy’s eye, she was already my perfect Mate.At this very moment, I simply could not care less that she is the other half of my soul, or that I am the Light to her Darkness,orthat together we will be completing a Prophecy made by Chaos, the first Primordial god in the history of Everything when all the Cousins were breathed into life.All I care about is getting back to not dreading every call from Destiny or Fate, of hiding out here in the Realm of Promise, and I cannot wait for the moment that I get to stop making excuses as to why I can't go to Earth or any of the Other Realms to anyone who calls.”

“I do understand, Hop.Really, I do.”

“I know you do, but let’s be real.Something that should be so easy–talking to our Cousins–isn't going to be easy at all.You and I are bothliterallyolder than dirt–like we were here before dirt was even invented–that’s how old we are.And so are Desi and Faye.Some even call us all Omnipotent Beings.Hell, it’s gotten so common we call each other that.Personally, it freaks me out sometimes, but hey, we are gonna live forever and we are all unique in every definition of the word.I hate to admit it, but I’ve caught myself referring to one or all of us as Omnipotent Beings more times than not.”

“Yeah, I know, we both did it like thirty seconds ago,” Pat chuckled, and once again, Hopper appreciated his Cousin’s attempt to lighten the mood, but he’d opened the floodgates of his crazy, overactive mind and couldn’t stop.

"You're so funny.But as I was saying, we were there when Chaos realized They weren't alone and when the Universe breathed life into the Primordial ooze.We were present when God with a capital G said, 'Let there be light,' and when the Great Goddess zapped the big blue and green ball–the place all our very precious humans call home–with tons of metaphysical mojo to make it circle the Sun.We have been here a long freakin’ time, and we’re not nearly done.I just want…”

“You just want to live your life and let nature take its course the way Auntie Mo Nat always said it would?”

“Yes!”Hopper boomed.“That’s it!”Nodding, he took a step closer to his Cousin.“Now, how do I do that with two meddling Cousins who answer to the names of Fate and Destiny without making those same women angry?Let me be clear, I want them to back off, but I also do not want them pissed off and stompin' all over everywhere in those stiletto heels they love so very much.The last time I even hinted that Desi might try a different approach to something she was working on, she stalked through my garden like she was the Jolly Green Giant and took out an entire section of purple asters and peace lilies in full bloom.Betsey Ann Honeymaker, the owner/operator of Honeymaker’s Horticultural Honeybees and the Queen of the Honeybee Shifters here in the Realm of Promise was so pissed that for nearly a month she and her Worker Bees stayed in their winged Insect forms and refused to speak to me."

“Yeah, that sucks.”Looking at the empty mug in his hand, Pat scratched the scruff on his jaw with his free hand and squinted his eyes.Shifting from one foot to the other, Hopper was just about to say something when his Cousin looked up, shrugged, and chuckled, “Well, I feel as though the answer to that very important question lies at the bottom of a bottle of something a whole heck of a lot stronger than coffee.”

“Well, shit, I was afraid you were gonna say that.I wonder if Dionysus still delivers.He’s still the only person I know who has anything strong enough for us.”Looking left then right, Hopper located the cell phone he used to contact any and every Deity.Shrugging as he grabbed the device off his desk, he sighed, “Well, I guess I better make a call.”. Halfway through dialing the Greek god of Wine, Festivity, and Ecstasy, Hopper stopped, looked at his cousin and chuckled, “Oh, and I like the new nickname for Auntie Mother Nature.Auntie Nat Mo?That’s a good one.”

‘Thanks, I have my moments.”

ChapterThree

“What did you see?”

“I can’t believe it actually worked.It worked!It was absolute perfection!Better than I ever could have imagined!”Einn’s squealing, squeaking, manically giggled cackle echoed off the rock walls.It took on a life of its own.It raced down Tveir’s spine making goosebumps dance the Hokey Pokey all over her body.It was everywhere.It bounced back and forth, up and down, side to side and corner to corner before whipping around in circles then finally dying to a whisper that refused to be extinguished.The kind that nagged and pricked the senses with wild abandon.

“What did you see?”Her words were measured, concise and without emotion when repeated.It was her job to remain calm and focused even when she wanted to scream and yell and demand answers to her questions.While her counterpart continued to be the largest pain in the ass to ever be born.

“I am brilliant!I’m a genius!I am the smartest person in the whoooooolllllleeeee friggin’ universe.”The giggling turned into an uproarious, high-pitched chortle that had the hair over all the bodies of every living creature within the Magical walls of their prison standing at attention.

“What.Did.You.See?”Inhaling through her nose then exhaling through her mouth, Tveir began to count backward from one hundred–very slowly.

One hundred… Ninety-nine…

Gaze locked on her sister; it was hard not to lose her temper.Watching Einn wiggle her shoulders, jump up and down, and shimmy her rounded, pear-shaped hips like Chubby Checker while continuing to be ignored was infuriating.Why did every day have to be like a party at Romper Room?Why did she have to be the referee?When did she get to have some fun?Why was she the responsible, levelheaded, task-oriented one?