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“And I will mostdefinitelyhave to tell Liv what I did.That Valkyrie and her Familiar don’t miss a thing.Hell, they probably already know.”

It was nuts.She did love Liv.They had a blast together, and it would be fun to have some company.She’d only spoken to people on the phone or through their special mental telepathy since Valentine’s Day, the date of that blasted party.

So, why wasn’t she moving?

Her feet were planted on the patio stones and her muscles were at the ready, but she was sitting there like a bump on a log staring atthatblasted statue.Lately, her eyes were always focused on the same thing, always gazing and daydreaming.

“I am getting exactly what I deserve,” she sighed.“I bailed on my friends, and I have chosen to talk to a statue of the most gorgeous man in the world instead of the real life, breathing thing.If I would only stop being so damned stubborn and take a chance, I could have the real thing.Yep, I am definitely in the running for Queen Bonehead of all the Boneheads in the entire universe.”

From the moment she’d commissioned Norðri of the North, the renowned Dwarf sculptor whose work decorated the Norse Pantheon and Odin’s Castle in Asgard, she’d known it was a mistake.She’d cancelled and rescheduled its creation at least six times with the stupidest excuses anyone could ever imagine.

Then, finally, after being hounded by Carys for three straight days, Hel relented.She called the Dwarf, ordered the statue, and said she would not bother him again until its completion.

When Norðri and his three brothers, Austri, Suðri & Vestri delivered the sculpture, the sheer likeness and attention to detail quite simply left her speechless.It was as if the man made for her by the Universe, the Omnipotent Being known as Hope, the one who liked to be called Hopper and wore western wear was right there in her home–in her garden.

She’d spent days looking at him, practicing what she would say to him, and most of all, not running away the minute he looked at her or entered the room.She’d come up with a hundred ways to say she was sorry and to explain why she’d done what she did.

Sadly, not a damn one of them seemed sufficient.How did a goddess apologize to an Omnipotent Being, to her Mate, for being a coward?Would Hopper think she was an idiot if she simply said, “Sorry I’ve been avoiding you for hundreds of years, but I just don’t think I’m good enough for you.”Then before he could answer, she would add, “I mean, let’s be real.You’re Hope personified, and I am just not.My lineage speaks for itself.My dad is the notorious Trickster god.My mother is the Giantess Odin calls Distress Bringer.I am the goddess of Helheim and the Ruler of the Dead.And I… well, I… umm… I mean, I look…”

Of course, that was when Carys always jumped in and started ranting and raving in a mixture of ancient Welsh and English that was quite hard to understand.The Dragoness Queen had given Hel a rash of shit a mile wide and two miles long for weeks afterward.She’d started with,“You are beautiful inside and out, and I am not the only one who thinks so.Arawn tells you that.Garmr tells you that.Fate and Desi tell…”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got a frikkin’ fan club,” Hel always snarled.“Give it up, Carys.I have a mirror.I have eyes.I know what I look like.”

“Cut the bullshit,”the Dragoness snapped.“I will not listen to you disparaging someone I love.I just won’t do it.But… youwilllisten to me.You will hear every word I have to say.”Not missing a beat, pausing for effect or taking the slightest breath, Carys just kept going with the ferocity, loyalty, and devotion of a true friend.“All you have to do is swallow the misguided and quite frankly, idiotic belief that you are not good enough for Hopper and go to him.Are you trying to tell me that you believe the Universe has made a mistake?”

“No, I mean…”

“You are either blind… Which I know that you are not.Or stupid… Another thing I know is absurd.Or totally unobservant… Which is ludicrous.That leaves me to assume that you have chosen to ignore the fact that the Omnipotent Being known as Hope, the man made for you by his very own Aunt, the renowned and infamous Universe–who most assuredly does not make mistakes–thinks the sun shines right out your backside.You simply refuse to acknowledge the way he looks at you, the way his eyes swirl and sparkle.You blatantly ignore the telltale way he cannot stay away even when you turn tail and run at every occasion.For some stupid, asinine, and quite frankly, idiotic reason, you have chosen to ignore everything you know to be true about the nature of living beings–and that includes you, my dear girl.You have made a conscious and concerted decision to let your insecurities and misguided belief in what the assholes of the world–and I absolutely include your insidious mother with green skin, rotten teeth and hair that needs a good wash and brush in that set because she is the Grand High Poobahess of Shitheads–say about you and have chosen to deny yourself the love and adoration of a good man and the happily ever after promised to you.”

“But I…”

“Hush up.I’m not finished.

And Carys was most definitely not finished.The heat-filled tirade had gone on for nearly two hours and on the last occasion had only ended when Hel was called to Nastrond, the Corpse Beach, where the souls of murderers, perjurers, and notorious liars were sentenced to spend eternity.Normally, she hated going there, but on that day, it was a welcome respite from the Dragoness Queen’s lecture.

“Okay, enough ofthattrip down Memory Lane, and the jaunts up Commemoration Court and Reminiscence Avenue,” the goddess scoffed.“I need to get up and get prepared.”

Pushing off the cushion of the chaise, she took one last glance at her garden then did a one-eighty and headed into the castle.Setting her glass in the sink, she took the long way around the huge island in the center and headed for the hall.

Two steps from the threshold, she chuckled to Carys even though she knew the Dragoness Queen would not respond, “You remember that country song we heard in Texas?The one that everybody in the Sampson Twins’ bar knew the words to?Drop Kick Me Jesus through the Goalposts of Life?Well, my favorite, the one I truly relate to isI Shaved My Legs For This.But I would add,And I Damned Near Bled To Death.”

ChapterEight

What in all the Realms of all The Powers That Be was happening in his kitchen?Why did it sound like all the Denizens of Hell–not where his Mate lived but the Realm of the Underworld ruled by Lucifer Morningstar–were having a party in his home and he was the only one who hadn’t been invited?He loved a party as much as the next guy, butwhydid they have to wake him?

If it wasn’t Demons, and Goblins, and Hellhounds, oh my!then what or who was it?They definitely had stamina.He’d been trying to ignore the chattering uproar for what seemed like forever.Why did theyhaveto be so Goddess be damned loud?They had to have seen him sleeping on the floor.After all, he was hard to miss.Nonetheless, it sounded like the Drum and Bugle Corp from Annapolis was in full swing and his brain was the bass drum.

“Surely they could keep it to a dull roar.”

Worse yet, his pleasant memory had been shattered.Theonly happy dreamof his One True Fated Mate had exploded into a million bits.It was absolutely infuriating.The kind of shit that would make most men kick some serious ass and take a whole lotta names.Instead, Hopper planned to kill whoever or whatever had disturbed his slumber then meticulously reconstruct every tiny detail of the happiest memory of his entre existence–in that order, no ifs, ands, or buts.

Oh, and he’d have to figure out what Hel was hiding in the deepest recesses of her soul… It had been the most important discovery he’d made in a really long time.Yes, he’d missed that very special fact all those years ago and the millions of other times he’d watched the recollection, but not on this occasion.There was no doubt in his mind that his Mate was so much more than he’d ever imagined, and somehow, he’d find out how.

Whap!Thud!Thwap!Squuuuuiiiiishhhh!“Holy crap!Son of a motherless mongoose.Now, I’ve done it.The shit is everywhere!”

Holy crap was right!That voice sounded way too familiar to be a Demon, or a Goblin or a Hellhound, but like a whole lot of other things, Hopper was having a hard time putting a name to it.But that wasn’t important.Some new fresh wave of Hell had exploded all over one of his favorite rooms in the Mansion, and that shit could and would not stand.He had to wake up.Had to get his eyes open.Had to know what was happening and put an end to it as quickly as an Omnipotent Beingly possible could.

Barely cracking open his right eye, Hopper slammed it shut as quickly and as tightly as he could, but it hurt like the dickens and then some.It felt as if fiery arrows had slashed through the center of his pupil, travelled down his optic nerve like a race car riding the rails and landed in the very center of his brain with the force of not one, not two, but three atomic bombs.Throwing his arm over his face, the crook of his elbow fitting perfectly over the bridge of his nose and providing a much needed darkness, he rolled to the left, away from the shine and heat of the sun’s rays, as quickly as Omnipotently possible with the mantra,‘Do not throw up.Do not throw up.Do not throw up,’going round and round through his mind.