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“Potato, potahto,” Hopper huffed.“One person’s flying over the Cuckoo’s nest is another’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”

“Okay, we’re gonna have to agree to disagree on that one.And let me make one thing very clear, if the ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ remark ever somehow makes its way back to Desi, I will deny hearing it, or ever even being a part of this conversation.You get me?”

“I got you.”

“I also must make it very clear that I seriously do not believe Desi would ever do anything even close to… to… Well, you know I hate horror movies, and therefore, have no clue what really happened after that poor man was hung on a meat hook, however, youmost definitelyknow what I mean.”

“Yes, I do know what you mean, and as for agreeing to disagree, it's a deal, but that’s not the point I was tryin’ to make.”

“Oh, okay, whatisthe point you were trying to make?”

“The point I’m tryin’ to make is…” Hopper stressed the words, trying really hard not to lose his temper but recognizing the writing was already on the wall.He was two steps from throwing a hissy fit, and it appeared that the brake lines on that particular vehicle had been cut.“I need to find a way to convince Desi and her lovely sister, Fate–two of ourdearCousins as you so loving referred to them–to back the holy hell off.They need to take a beat, go on vacation, or get a hobby that doesn’t involve me or my love life.”

“That is a truly wonderful thought–something to strive forin the future.However, let's be real, oh, and live in the present, our Family, at least the female members, tend to think of meddling inourlives as a right, not a luxury.Dare I say, they see it as a sport and arealwaysstriving to win the gold medal.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Hop sighed.“I have actually taken part in their sport when it…”

“When it didn’t involve you?”

“Yeah,” the Omnipotent Being known as Hope begrudgingly nodded.Then, pointing his finger at his Cousin, he warned, “And so have you.Do not try to take the moral high ground with me.Your day is coming, Bud.Just because you refuse to tell us who your One True Fated Mate is… Just because you found a way to hide the information from us… And just because you convinced Chaos, Auntie Universe, the Great Goddess, and God with a capital G to keep your secret does not mean she’s not out there and it does not mean that I won’t figure out who she is.”

“Don’t you dare threaten me, Hopper.I will make you understand the true meaning of 'praying for patience.'You know I can do it, and worse yet, you know I will."

Holding up his hands in surrender, the Omnipotent Being known as Hope acquiesced, "Okay, there, Partner, I give up.Don't shoot."Forcing a smile, he tried to tease, "I was just sayin’…”

“You were just deflecting.”

“Okay, yeah, that too.”Dropping his hands, his shoulders slumped forward.“Why can’t those two just get it through their collective omnipotent brains that Hel wantsliterallynothing to do with me?”

Running his fingers through his hair one more time, he was sure the curls had been pulled out and every last strand was standing on end–and he didn’t care.He needed to finish his thought before his brain melted and ran out his ears.“I mean, come on, they have to get a clue.Those two wonderful Ladies, who I simply adore, have been right there–front and center–every time Hel has literally laid eyes on me, done a one-eighty, lifted up her skirt, and gotten the hell right outta Dodge.”

Shaking his head, he kept right on going with each word coming out faster than the one before.“I would swear she was going for the gold in the Olympic fifty-yard dash.”

Throwing his hands in the air, he let them fall just as quickly.“Why can’t they just leave well enough alone?This shit is gettin’ damned embarrassing.”

“You know why.”Not waiting for an answer, Pat kept right on going.“Because Fate is living her happily ever after with Arawn, and Destiny was just officially given the gig of the Universe's Chosen Matchmaker.That means she’s handling all of Babs MacAutley’s duties while the Babdhoír–that’s Matchmaker in Gaelic in case you’ve forgotten…”

‘Thanks, but I know the language.”

“Smart ass.”

“Always.”

“Anyway, as I was saying, Desi is now the Matchmaker Extraordinaire–a title she coined all by herself–while Babs is in parts unknown and she thinks that everybody everywhere needs to be in love and Mated.But mostly those two cannot butt out because, like I said before, they really and truly care for you and Hel.”

“I get it.I love them too.But we all saw what happened at Faye and Ari’s Halloween Party.”

“Yes, but…”

“You remember, right?’

“I do, but…”

“She ran so fast when she saw me comin’ that I had to raise my arm and smell my pit.I thought I’d forgotten my deodorant.”

“You know it wasn’t…”

“Yeah, you’re right.I know I didn’t stink.”Hopper snapped.“Because I always smell sweet as a daisy, and… because Hel hates me.”