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‘You love him,’ she said.

‘Yes. Yes. I do. I don’t just think I love him. Ilovehim. I love him so much, it hurts, and I know he feels the same way. He told me, but he said… he said…’

It was too late. Once again, the tears had taken over. There was no point even trying to speak. With her arms wide, Jamie brought her back in for a hug and began rubbing. The motion only seemed to accelerate the tears, although Holly couldn’t tell her as much.

‘It’s okay. You’ll be fine, I promise. We’ve all been wondering when it was going to hit for real. Fin and I suspected this might be why you rang. You’ll be fine. We’re here for you.’

‘What do you mean?’ Holly said. The tears momentarily halted as she looked at her friend in confusion. ‘What do you mean, you’ve all been wondering? Who? Wondering what?’

Jamie bit down on her bottom lip sheepishly, like she’d said too much.

‘Holly, this last year… Well, to be honest, I don’t know how you didn’t see it before. We all did. I suspect the entire village knows that you and Giles are in love. We just hoped that you’d notice before Giles did something crazy like?—’

‘Get engaged to someone?’ Holly finished, a fresh wave of tears commencing. ‘Great, So everybody’s been talking about it?’

‘We just care about you. That’s all. Let’s go home. I feel like this is a conversation we need a drink for. Come on, let’s get in the car. We can talk on the way.’

Holly used the journey to fill Jamie in on everything, including the argument with Sienna, and how Giles had turned up to have a go at her, only for them to end up kissing.

‘I honestly don’t know if it was me or him, but I swear I was the one to break away. I was.’

‘You don’t need to convince me of anything here, Holly. I’m your friend.’

‘But you’re Giles’s friend too, and I’ve made such a mess of things. I don’t know how I fix this. What do I do?’

This was the other reason she had called Jamie to pick her up. It wasn’t just about having a shoulder to cry on. Holly needed her friend to tell her what to do. How to put things right. Jamie was the most practical person she knew and right then, Holly needed her to put her practicality into sorting her life out.

‘I don’t know,’ Jamie said. ‘What do you want to do?’

Holly drew in a long breath. She knew exactly what the answer was; it was there, trembling in her lungs, but to say it out loud, that was something altogether terrifying. But then, if she couldn’t say it to Jamie, how the hell was she going to say it to Giles?

‘It’s not because he’s with someone else,’ Holly said. ‘I want to be with him. I want to be with him forever.’

‘Then you need to tell him that.’

‘I tried,’ Holly said. ‘He didn’t want to hear it.’

‘Then you need to try again. You need to make him listen.’

66

In the end, Holly decided to go for the good old-fashioned letter approach. It took her several days to decide on this, but she was certain it was the right way forward, for several reasons. First, it could be done quietly in her own home, in the evenings, when Hope was asleep. She gave herself until the end of that week, by which time, she wanted to have something truthful, heartfelt, and ready to give to Giles. It was also the approach that seemed to work in various romcoms and novels that she read, so she took that as evidence that it would be the most effective way to convey her thoughts.

On Thursday evening, Holly looked at the piece of paper in front of her and finally put her pen down for the last time. This was it, she thought, looking at her words. This was as truthful as she could get. As honest and raw. She had laid her heart out on the line, and hopefully, Giles would see it. She had said it all: how there had always been a part of her that loved him. After all, that was why she hadn’t been able to stay with Ben after Hope’s birth; that was why she had needed to drive a moped by herself in a strange country to speak to him on his boat before she agreed to a relationship with Evan. And yes, she knew her timing was horrific. She knew it was probably the engagement and the realisation that he would be gone forever that had given her a kick in the backside to act and do something about it. But she also knew that this wasn’t some fad, that she wasn’t feeling this way simply because she didn’t want someone else to have him. She knew it to the very depth of her bones that if he would give her this chance, then she wouldn’t let him down.

But with the letter written, there then came the issue of delivery.

‘I can’t give it to him directly,’ Holly said to Jamie that evening as she handed her the envelope. ‘He won’t speak to me. He’ll probably just burn it up there and then. I need you to do it. And I need you to do it at a time when Sienna won’t be there.’

‘Really? They’re practically living together now.’

‘I know, but you can make it happen, right? Why don’t you ask him round to babysit the twins?’

Jamie’s eyebrow rose. ‘He wouldn’t buy that,’ Jamie said. ‘Why would I ask him when I have you next door?’

‘Okay, then maybe Fin could invite him for a round of golf or something, and you could see him and give it to him then. But you have to make sure he reads it, okay? You can’t let him just put it in his pocket.’

Jamie let out a sigh. ‘You’re not making this easy, you know. Just talk to him.’