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‘This is a good thing,’ Holly said to Jamie as she sat at the kitchen island with a glass of wine in her hand. ‘Everything he said made perfect sense. And he’s right: not every relationship has to be some massive romance. Lots of people get together because it’s a convenient, sensible thing to do. Because they’ve found a steady partnership. I just didn’t think that would be something any of us would do, what with you and Fin and—’ She stopped. She had been about to say her and Evan, but it didn’t feel quite right and so she changed her choice of couple. ‘Caroline and Michael. Everyone’s always been so in love. But I get it. It makes sense.’

As Holly paused, she looked down at her lap, to where Rhubarb had fallen fast asleep. She was so tiny and so at peace that at times like this, it was almost impossible to remember what a menace she could be. Still, she was her menace, and she wouldn’t swap her for the world.

‘So, any idea when the wedding is going to be?’ Jamie asked, topping up Holly’s glass even though it was still half-full. ‘Did he mention dates to you yet?’

Holly shook her head. ‘No, not yet. Something makes me think Sienna will need at least a year to plan everything. You know, so she has time to check out a hundred different venues and all that.’

Jamie laughed. ‘Well, if it’s not gonna be for a while then maybe you’ve got time to find yourself a plus-one.’

Holly’s hand gripped the stem of the glass she was holding tightly. ‘Why would I need a plus-one? It’s not like I won’t know plenty of people there.’

‘I know, but it’s not about needing a plus-one. It’s about wanting one. Like having someone to do that couples dance with after the newlyweds invite you onto the dance floor.’

‘Well, I’ve got Hope for that,’ Holly replied curtly. ‘And I don’t like dancing, anyway.’

‘You do after you’ve had a few drinks,’ Jamie said. Her eyes flickered down to her glass before rising to meet Holly’s again, and although her gaze was soft, any hint of humour had gone. ‘I’m just saying that maybe this would be the right time for you to start thinking about meeting someone. You know, there’s this single dad at the playgroup I take the twins to?—’

‘Stop, stop right now,’ Holly said. ‘I’m not interested.’

‘Well, you might be. He’s really, really lovely.’

Holly took a large gulp of her drink. ‘If that’s the case, then why is he single?’

‘Well, from what I gather, it was a bit of a drunken night with his ex that resulted in his son. But they’re bringing him up together, like you and Ben. It all seems really amicable. That’s got to be a good sign, hasn’t it?’

Holly rolled her eyes. She knew there was no point in saying anything, not while Jamie wasn’t in the mood to listen. But she wasn’t going to be badgered into dating when she wasn’t ready. Especially not with some random she’d never even heard of before two minutes ago.

‘Maybe when Hope starts secondary school,’ she said, hoping the answer would get Jamie off her back. ‘When Hope’s at secondary school and I’ve got a bit more time to think, then I’ll consider dating.’

Jamie’s eyes bugged. ‘That’s another four years away, Holly.’

‘Exactly, so could we stop talking about it and enjoy our evening, please?’

As Holly climbed into bed later that night, she took her phone from her pocket and scrolled through the photos. She’d only bought the phone last year, having held on to her old one for as long as possible because it contained all the photos of her and Evan. Thankfully, Michael had showed her how to transfer them all so they were accessible with whatever device she had. So she could look at them whenever she wanted. Recently, though, she’d been doing so less and less. When she did take five minutes to scan through the images, she tended to look at more recent ones of Hope – Hope doing cartwheels, Hope on the stage. Hope with the other children, causing general mayhem. She couldn’t remember the last time she had sat like this, scrolling through one photo after another of her and Evan, trying to recall the memories around the moments.

The longer she looked, the more her heart ached. Every photo was of them smiling or laughing or just being their genuine, silly selves. Even the ones that were just of them in the house, or on a typical, unexciting family walk. He had made the mundane feel special, and she had felt so invincible back then. Like she could achieve anything as long as Evan was by her side. Was that how Giles felt with Sienna? she wondered. It hadn’t sounded like that when he had spoken about her. Surely that was what he wanted in a relationship – that was what everybody wanted, didn’t they?

With a long sigh, she closed the photos and put her phone on the bedside table. Maybe she needed to stop judging other people’s relationships by what she’d had with Evan. Or by what her friends had. Relationships were as individual as the people in them, and she needed to remember that.

As she rolled over, ready to fall asleep, a message came through on her phone. It was probably from Jamie, apologising for the whole dating stuff she had tried to push on her earlier that night and given how Holly wasn’t even close to asleep, there didn’t seem any point waiting until morning to reply. But as she picked up the phone, she frowned. It wasn’t a number she recognised.

Sitting upright in bed, Holly tapped on the screen and opened the message, only to instantly regret it.

Hi Holly, it’s Sienna. Do you think we could get together for a talk?

Her stomach somersaulted. There was no way she was going to be able to sleep now.

21

Holly was sitting up in bed, now wide awake. There was a good chance that there was only one wall between her and Jamie and, if they spoke loud enough, there would be no need for the phone at all, but shouting was a sure way to wake Hope and the other children up. Besides, it wasn’t exactly normal behaviour. So a telephone call seemed more appropriate.

Thankfully, Jamie had answered immediately.

‘Why do you think she wants to talk to me?’ Holly asked.

‘She probably wants to talk to you about wedding plans,’ she said. ‘You are Giles’s best woman or whatever he called you. That probably comes with a list of jobs to do. I can imagine Sienna is the type of person who likes lists.’