Page 18

She frowned. ‘Of course I do. That’s why I asked.’

Once again, Ben didn’t reply. Instead, he drew in a long breath, which he blew out again far slower than felt normal. Almost as if he was nervous. An undeniable churning took hold of Holly, though she didn’t understand why.

‘So, I did propose,’ he said.

‘What?’ Holly shook her head in disbelief. ‘You mean… You mean she said no? What? I don’t get it. You two are so happy.’

A smile flickered on Ben’s lips, although it didn’t match his eyes. Those were uncharacteristically sad.

‘I proposed on a lovely, snowy weekend, just before Christmas. Five years ago.’

‘Five years ago?’ The realisation was like a mallet to her chest, emptying the air from her lungs. Her hands flew up to cover her mouth. ‘Oh my God.’

‘I shouldn’t have said anything,’ Ben said, reaching across for her. With her hands trembling, Holly shook him away, not because she was cross, though. Because she couldn’t believe she didn’t know.

‘You proposed to her? The same weekend? And you didn’t say anything?’

He shrugged, and that same sadness glinted in his eyes.

‘It wasn’t a planned proposal. We were looking in the window of a shop and Georgia saw a ring she liked, so I suggested we buy it. Probably not a proposal by most people’s standards at all.’

‘Wow.’ It was the only word Holly could manage. However he tried to dismiss it, it was a proposal. She suspected Ben had walked Georgia past the ring shop deliberately for that reason: so he didn’t have to risk buying the wrong thing. It was a very sensible, very Ben proposal.

‘Why didn’t you say anything?’ Holly said, finally finding her voice again. Yet as Ben tilted his head to the side, another thought hit her. ‘You came to America! You came to America with me, days after you proposed.’

‘Of course I did. You needed me.’

Tears welled in Holly’s eyes. She’d heard so many people say that you only got one great love of your life, but as far as non-romantic love went, she couldn’t imagine feeling more for a person than she did for Ben in that moment.

‘Surely you could’ve asked again?’ she said. ‘Have you asked again?’

Ben reached across the table, placing his hands on hers.

‘What happened with Evan made us see that what matters is each other. That’s it. We know we’ll spend the rest of our lives growing old together and making amazing memories. We don’t need an extravagant day to prove that to anyone.’ His face suddenly flushed. ‘Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course. Marriage is wonderful; I’m not saying it isn’t. And we’ve discussed it – how maybe we would like to wait until the girls are a bit older so they can join in. So that it can be a day everyone remembers. That idea feels even more special to us. Does that make sense?’

‘It does,’ Holly said. ‘Completely.’

She shifted her gaze back down to the table. To the diamond ring that felt even more fraudulent than when she had first put it on. There was nothing more she could say. She had wanted an answer to a question, and now she had it.

‘Should I have told you?’ Ben said. ‘I’m worried now that I shouldn’t have told you. It’s just that?—’

‘No, no, I’m so grateful you did,’ Holly said. ‘Really, I am. I just feel terrible. I feel like I’ve stopped you two from living your lives.’

‘What?’ Ben shook his head. ‘That’s not what happened at all. What happened with you just made us see things differently, that’s all. I promise you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty for.’

Holly nodded. Of course he would say that, and he probably meant it too.

‘Do the others know?’ she asked. ‘Jamie? Giles?’

Ben shook his head. ‘No, we hadn’t even told our parents before we found out about the accident. We wanted to have some time together first. But I think maybe fate played a part in our thinking there too.’

‘Maybe,’ Holly said, though she wasn’t a great believer in fate any more.

She noticed several small droplets of water on the table by her fingers, realising her tears were falling freely now, but as she moved to wipe them away, a voice rang out from the hallway.

‘Why are you two just sitting there? I need to go and practise my cartwheels!’

Holly jolted out of her seat, hastily turning so that her back was to Hope while she wiped her tears away. A moment later, she forced a smile onto her lips as she turned back to face her daughter.