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‘We’ll get back to Bourton, and then we’ll work something out. A way for us to avoid seeing each other.’

‘For how long?’ Holly choked out, still struggling to fully comprehend everything she had just heard.

‘I don’t know. As long as it takes, I suppose.’

64

Giles didn’t say any more. Instead, he walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him and leaving Holly standing there. She could feel the water still running from her hair down the back of her neck and the tears that continued to drip onto her chin, but she felt detached from it all. Like her body and mind had separated.

At least she had her answer now. It didn’t matter if Giles loved her the way she loved him, he was engaged; he was going to be the better man and honour his relationship with Sienna, even though she didn’t deserve him. A throbbing spread through her chest. How could he do that? How could he spend his life with someone like her? Someone he didn’t truly love? She knew the answer, of course, as it wasn’t just about the proposal. Sienna wouldn’t break his heart the way that Holly had already done.

The thought caused another flurry of tears.

Why had she realised what she wanted so late? And why couldn’t Giles see she would never reject him again? Never break his heart the way she had done unintentionally so many times before. If he gave her this chance, she would do everything to prove herself worthy. Why didn’t he see that? Surely he knew that about her; surely he understood how much courage it had taken just to send that email admitting her feelings, but maybe it didn’t matter. That was what it came down to.

She took a step towards the door. Should she go after him? Maybe that way, he would see she wasn’t going to give up. Only that was what he wanted her to do, wasn’t it? Forget what had ever happened between them. Move on with her life, with him no longer in it. As she turned around, she looked at the large double bed of the honeymoon suite. It would be funny if her heart wasn’t broken. But it was, and how could she possibly spend the night lying in it, next to Giles, knowing what she knew now? She couldn’t. For the first time since she had kissed him a fortnight ago, Holly was certain of one thing and one thing only. She needed to get out of there and as far away from Giles Caverty as possible.

Thirty minutes later, Holly was on the train, her hair roughly towel-dried, her clothes hurriedly put back on. Evelyn had been true to her word and ordered the cab for her straight away, no doubt spurred on by Holly’s snivelling mess. There had been no sign of Giles.

The entire taxi journey there, she had stared at photos on her phone. How had she never noticed how many of them contained Giles before? And in how many of them were they next to each other, with their arms wrapped around one another? There had to be at least a dozen with him kissing the top of her head or with his arms wrapped fully around her. Some of them – particularly large group ones – they weren’t even looking at the cameras; they were just laughing together, as if they were the only two people who mattered. She needed to delete them all. She had to, but she didn’t have the strength to do that.

By her second connection of the night, Holly had realised that her rash decision to leave without checking train timetables wasn’t her smartest. She would get in after midnight and even then there wasn’t a train all the way to Moreton. The Cheltenham to Bourton train ran regularly enough, or she could just get a taxi, but she didn’t want to head home just yet. She needed something more. And so, as she boarded the train, she picked up her phone and dialled one of the most familiar numbers.

‘Hey, how’s it going? I take it it’s absolute luxury? I was expecting you guys back around now; how long? How far away are you?’

Something about Jamie’s voice caused the tears to thicken in Holly’s throat, and she tried to swallow them back. ‘Can you, can you come and pick me up from the station? From Cheltenham station,’ she said.

‘Holly, what is it? What’s wrong? Did something happen? Please, of course, of course I can. I’m leaving now.’

‘Thank you,’ Holly said.

65

As Holly’s train drew into the platform, she tried to work out what she was going to say to Jamie. Where the hell did she start? It was all such a mess. Though as the doors opened and Holly saw her friend standing there, the tears started again.

‘What happened?’ Jamie said, as Holly collapsed into her shoulder. ‘Holly, what’s wrong?’

Holly wanted to answer. She wanted to tell Jamie everything, only she couldn’t breathe because she was sobbing so much. Her throat was raw, her lungs ached. But it was her chest that hurt the most – her heart, which felt as if it had been ripped in two.

‘I messed it up. It’s all so messed up,’ she said.

‘What is? What happened?’

‘Giles and I kissed,’ she said finally, meeting Jamie’s gaze.

‘Oh.’

Holly waited for more. For Jamie to cover her mouth in shock, or question her, prying out every detail. But that was all she said.

‘Oh? That’s all you’ve got.’ Holly stepped back and raised her hands in disbelief. ‘Everything is wrecked, Jamie. Everything. He doesn’t want me at his wedding. He doesn’t even want me in his life any more.’

Still, Jamie remained incredibly matter-of-fact about it all. ‘When did this all happen? Today?’

Holly shook her head. ‘No, it was after we’d been to the spa.’

For the first time, Jamie’s expression showed a hint of surprise. ‘The spa? But that was over two weeks ago. You didn’t mention anything.’

‘How could I? It’s horrific. He hates me, he absolutely despises me, and I… I?—’