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“Babe, I haven’t seen you crush on anyone since you were thirteen and had a thing for Bobby from art class. You’ve always been so focused, and the few men you have dated haven’t really been the serious type. It kind of felt like you were just going through the motions.”
“That’s not true. I mean…” I sigh, looking into Christopher’s sparkly blue eyes. “I don’t know. Maybe it is. Regardless, it’s done and we’re back to being boss and assistant.”
She arches a brow. “And how is that going?”
“He doesn’t seem to have a problem with it.”
She lets out an unladylike snort. “Men never do. Then again, remember when Jamie and I broke up for a few weeks during our senior year? He seemed so unaffected. But then we got back together, and he told me he’d been torn up inside the whole time. He just didn’t want anyone to know.”
My heart clenches. “Are you saying that’s what Roman’s doing?”
Brow creased, she shakes her head. “I don’t know the guy, so I couldn’t say for sure. He could have his reasons, or he could just be an asshole.”
“I don’t think he’s an asshole. He’s done a lot of incredibly thoughtful things for me.”
“He may be thoughtful in one area of his life, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be a giant, ignorant dick in other areas.” She clasps my hand. “The only thing I care about is that you’re okay. If he’s making you upset, then I’m going to be pissed at him.”
Tears still threatening, I let out a sad laugh. “What would I do without you?”
“We’ll never know, will we?”
Christopher squirms and I lay him down on his playmat, then sit beside Lola again. “What do you think I should do?”
“Keep doing your job. Look after yourself and your mental health. And do your best to move on emotionally. Whatever his reasons, tying yourself up in knots over a man who’s not crazy about you the way you deserve is a waste of time. And if that’s the case, I promise there’s someone else out there who’s a much better fit.”
I nod, my chest a little looser. “You’re right.”
“Okay.” Her mouth turns up in a wicked smile. “Now give me all the spicy details.”
“What? You just said I should forget about him.”
“You should. Immediately after you’ve told me everything. What’s that man stallion like in bed? Asking for a friend. Which is me, of course.” She winks.
I can’t help but laugh, the sound lighter than I expected. My professional relationship with Roman might be in a strange place, but I can always count on Lola to cheer me up.
So I tell her about Nice and Paris. When I mention Katherine, her expression sharpens. “His ex-wife?”
“Yeah, she was stunning.”
“And she warned you off him?”
I frown. “In a roundabout way. It was odd.”
“Wow. Do you think she still wants him?”
An unwarranted spike of jealousy pierces my ribs. “I wouldn’t blame her if she did. But she’s dating someone else.”
She huffs. “That doesn’t mean anything. Or maybe she senses the connection between the two of you and doesn’t like it. Some people can’t move on, even if it’s been years.”
“Maybe.” A seed of hope tries to blossom inside me, but I crush it before it can take root. “That’s enough about my self-inflicted drama. Tell me how things are going with you.”
An hour later, I head home, and that night, as I lie in bed, staring up at the ceiling, I turn Lola’s words over in my mind. God, I hope I never become the kind of person who clings to a dream so hard I lose sight of reality.
Dreaming can be dangerous. It makes you believe in possibilities that might never exist. And when those dreams don’t come true, or worse, when they come crashing down, it’s so much harder to recover from. If I don’t keep my feet firmly planted in the real world, if I let my dreams blind me to what’s real, there’s a good chance it’ll bite me in the ass.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
ROMAN