Page 98
Story: Giovanna
“You’d have to be blind not to be attracted to him. Or a lesbian I guess. But I’d rather eat glass than ever go there. He’s a soulless manwhore…oh shit, sorry! I forgot you have to marry him for a second!”
Unphased, because her statement is accurate, I just chuckle. “Lucky me!”
It takes a week for Giovanna to call me, wondering where I am. I don’t answer. Then Elio starts calling and I ignore his calls too. Giovanna will have told him to call me anyway.
Sammy and I hang out every day and I enjoy the normalcy of working and having a friend who isn’t a member of the Italian mafia.
I miss living down the hall from Massimo, but we are still figuring out how to navigate this new phase in our friendship where for the first time we have to reestablish trust. Things are a bit awkward and he can’t seem to look at me without a face riddled with guilt.
I think about Giovanna constantly. I dream of what it would be like if she wanted me like I want her and we could be together. At night I make myself come to the memory of being in her bed. I wonder if she is thinking about me at all.
Anyway, my parents get back tomorrow and there is no way I will be staying here with them. It is time to leave limbo. Time to decide if I will allow my life to be driven by others or if I will forge my own path.
The Uber pulls up outside Stefan and Allegra’s house and I hesitate before getting out. It isn’t too late for me to turn around and go back to my car where it is parked outside my work. No one need know that I even considered running from my fate.
The driver looks over his shoulder expectantly, his face communicating that I should hurry up and get out of his car.
Apologising, I quickly exit the vehicle and stand clutching the sports bag that contains the essentials I might need. Sadly this isn’t a lot. Just my passport and some clothes.
I feel small standing outside my brother’s house so uncertain and alone. Am I being petulant? Petty? Like a child who throws a tantrum and declares they are running away?
Being amicable and obedient my whole life has ultimately led me to being traded like property and unable to trust anyone. Just the thought of Massimo arriving in London - me so excited and relieved to see him - when he was there on an assignment makes me want to cry. He was there to manipulate my life as instructed by our fathers.
I should have left earlier. The moment I found out I was to be married to Elio. But like so many women stuck in circumstances they cannot stand, it felt impossible. My family is very wealthy, but I have next to nothing to my name. Not enough to buy a plane ticket back to the U.K. Not even enough to set myself up in some sleepy beachside town hours from Sydney.
Trying to escape the control of my father and future husband has led me here, instead, to my brother’s door where I will put myself at his mercy as I beg for help. I am a mouse stuck in a maze. I keep hitting dead ends and running in circles. I just need to get out.
Hurried footsteps approach the door a few moments after I have knocked. My heart races and push down feelings of embarrassment. There is no shame in asking for help, I tell myself.
“Francesca,” Allegra answers the door and her eyes widen in surprise. “Come in, come in. Are you alright?”
Her question is like the pin that pops the water balloon and I dissolve into tears. Hurrying me inside she leads me to the austere living room where we perch on uncomfortable oversized chairs.
Handing me a tissue, Allegra sits quietly and waits for my tears to subside. “What’s going on? Do you need me to ask Stefan to come home? He should be home in a few hours anyway,” she says softly. She never seems to speak louder than a whisper.
I shake my head. “I can wait for him. If you don’t mind? I just need to talk to him. I need his help.”
Stefan returns home a few hours later just as Allegra said. She must have spoken to him at some point as he isn’t surprised to find me in his house.
He pulls me into a hug and I want to feel comforted, but it is stiff and unfamiliar. If anything I feel more isolated afterward, but I appreciate that he was trying to show support and affection.
“Allegra says you need my help,” he states, sitting down opposite me at his monstrosity of a dining table.
I bob my head and drag my gaze from the tabletop to find his eyes. “I can’t marry Elio, Stefan. Please help me. I need to get away, but I have nothing.”
The tears start again and Stefan’s brow crinkles into a concertina of concern, but a strange lightness comes over him. He pauses, running his eyes over my face. Lost in his thoughts he doesn’t respond for several moments and my breath catches in my chest. He is my last resort. I have no one else to go to.
“Of course, I’ll help. You’re my baby sister,” he finally says. “Who knows you’re here?”
“No one,” I reply honestly.
“Good. That gives us more time to figure this out,” his mouth sets in a satisfied line and he looks at his watch. “It is getting late. Allegra has made up the spare room. Get some sleep and we will talk about it all tomorrow.”
After a long shower in which I shed many more tears, I tug on some cotton sleep shorts and a singlet and slide into bed. It isn’t that late. It’s just after 9 pm and I’m wide awake.
The sheets are crisp and cool and usually, I would relish sliding into them after a warm day, but there is something about them that feels clinical and cold. The room is sparse and the lack of homeliness makes my misery even more pronounced.
Stefan has said he will help me, but our interactions are just so stilted. I can’t seem to relax in his company. I wish I felt more certain about our relationship. Though given the people I have felt comfortable and safe around have sold me out I guess that doesn’t matter.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98 (Reading here)
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140