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Eventually, she allows one of her hands to stroke down the side of my body and across my pubic bone. Her fingers stroke the bare skin just above my pussy.

“I’m going to fuck you now, baby,” she growls against my mouth.

“Oh god, please,” I moan, trying to spread my legs for her even more.

I’m so slick that when her fingers find my centre they slide through my folds with ease. She groans as she pushes two fingers inside of me and my heat sucks them in. The heel of her palm creates friction for my clit as she slowly slides in and out of me.

I claw at her back as she curls her fingers to hit the rough spot inside me that makes me shudder.

“Good girl,” she praises me again. “Take it.”

She speeds up, her biceps and forearms straining as she ploughs her fingers into me. The orgasm builds deep inside me. I can feel it in my spine and pooling in my stomach.

“Giovanna,” I moan, elongating each syllable of her name. “Please don’t stop.”

“Oh I won’t,” she promises, keeping steady pressure on my hard clit and I fall apart, my body spasming. I cry out her name as the waves of pleasure wash through me.

I’m still shuddering when she pushes up onto her knees and peeling her folds back, layers her wet pussy over mine. Her hands go under my bum and she undulates her hips sliding us along each other.

“Fuck,” she hisses, finding a spot she likes and increasing the pressure. My eyes roll back in my head. This feels so primal. I never knew sex with a woman could be like this. My imagination, my fantasies about Giovanna fucking me all these years have been well short of the mark.

I tell her. “You fuck so good,” I rasp.

“You’re fuckin’ beautiful like this. So perfect,” she grinds out, rocking faster. Her fingers dig into my hips, moving me in sync with her. Then she moans my name, the sound hitting me right in my core. She comes hard, pressing our clits together and rubbing ferociously.

Collapsing between my legs, her head rests on my chest and my arms wrap around her, holding her tight. Her heart rate is rocketing against my stomach and I love that my body did that to her.

We lay like this for ages. So long that the satisfaction and inner peace I feel gradually begin to give way to the usual panic and anxiety.

How can I ever go back to Elio, to anyone, after this? Nothing will ever compare. She said she can only give me tonight. But, maybe she will keep me as her dirty little secret?

I hate myself for even wanting to be her illicit affair. Her dirty laundry.

But I never want to let her go. My body and mind have craved her for so long and now that I have her and she is so much more than I ever expected, I feel empty at the prospect of not doing this night after night.

“I can feel you thinking,” she says sleepily. I thought she was asleep.

“Can’t help it,” I say, attempting to sound lighthearted.

“Darlin’, don’t. Just live in this moment. Reality will be there in the morning.”

She knows.

Something squeezes my heart, reading the inevitability in her words. When morning comes she won’t be mine. She’ll be gone with the darkness.

Chapter Fifty-One

Giovanna

I’m ruined. She has ruined me and I willingly walked into self-destruction.

She makes the sweetest noises as she sleeps, her chest rising and falling softly. Her slightly pouty lips are both angelic and pornographic, and I have to restrain myself from stealing one more kiss before I force myself to be a complete arsehole. Again.

I have to get out of here. As I shower I simultaneously hope she’ll wake and come join me while praying she won’t.

Morning has come and so has reality, just as I promised her it would. Only I’m the one running from it now.

Dressing at speed, but as quietly as I can, I feel the shame gathering inside me like bile. She told me last night that she thinks I’m afraid of nothing and here I am proving her so completely wrong. I’m a coward.