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We are silent as he dries me off and helps me into some clean comfy clothes. He plants a kiss on my forehead and I snort, “Should I be offended that Matty isn’t trying to ruin my life as well?”

He chuckles. “To be honest, sometimes I think Matty is the best of all of us. Whoever he ends up with will be worshipped.”

Chapter Fifty-Five

Francesca

Giovanna is blowing up my phone and leaving me messages that I don’t answer. Pathetic half apologies. The kind that says ‘I’m sorry, but…’ Thanks, but I’d rather shave my head than put myself through any more of her shit.

She even came into my room late last night. I pretended to be asleep and she watched me for a while. She was close enough that I could smell her fresh perfume. I wish it didn’t make butterflies take off in my tummy and my heart weep. After a while, she just left.

Apart from my sessions with Sandy, I keep to my room. It isn’t like I am eating much anyway. Going to work is my main reprieve and Sammy doesn’t mind when I ask if we can hang out at her studio apartment. I feel bad since at the Marino house we can hang out by the pool and I know she likes that, but she says she doesn’t mind.

I know that Giovanna has soldiers following me. After they rescued me from the storage unit I noticed my protective shadows eased off a bit. I guess they’re still supposed to jump out if someone tries to kill me. Or if I try to run for it again. At this point, I’m considering paying them to let the assassins finish the job.

Sammy and I work the late shift at the gym today and head to her apartment afterward with a detour to the bottle-o for a few bottles of Pinot Gris.

We sit on the floor, leaning against the sofa still in our gym leggings and sweatshirts. We’ve already smashed one bottle in record time and are making our way through a second.

Sammy is good company. We gossip about people at work, debrief on the latestLove Islandepisodes - her hot takes are remarkably similar to Sandy’s - and she tells me about her family back in New Zealand. I can tell she notices my reluctance to talk about my own family dynamics and history and bless her she doesn’t push me too much. But, I do wish I had someone outside of our fucked up world to talk to about all the shit.

“Are you going to tell me why you’re marrying Elio? The guy is an utter cunt,” she eventually asks.

“It’s kinda embarrassing, but theFamigliais…old-fashioned. Sandy has just stepped back from…all of the family businesses and Elio is taking over. It should be Giovanna, but she has a vagina, so…anyway. The guy who runs the family businesses in Melbourne wants to, like, bring Sydney under his erm, management? So he sent his son-in-law to Sydney to try to take us over. His son-in-law is also my half-brother; just to complicate things a bit more. The ummm… business investors in Sydney are all nervous about Elio taking over because he is the city’s most notorious playboy. Some of them were starting to say that maybe Stefan - my half-brother - should step in. So Sandy and my father came up with the grand old plan of marrying me to Elio and showing the investors that he is settling down. Except he isn’t. He’s still fucking like it's going out of fashion. So we are engaged, but it hasn’t made anything better. Plus, my brother tried to kill me and then another time he kidnapped me... and now he’s…missing.”

It’s hard to explain it in terms that aren’t explicit that I’m talking about the mafia. I know she has put two and two together and figured out that we are involved in illegal shit, but it is ingrained in me not to ever speak aboutFamigliabusiness like that.

She lets me get it all out, but her mouth keeps falling open. “Okay, so the goons following you around everywhere make more sense now.”

“Yeah, it’s a hot mess.”

“Why isn’t Elio playing ball? Like fuck dude, just lay off the pussy for like a few months and make the problem go away.” She rolls her eyes. “But you guys did fuck, right?”

“Once,” I cringe. “When we first got engaged. I thought I better try to make it work. It wasn’t bad, but he just saw me as another root. Not like his future wife.”

“Where does Giovanna fit in all of this?”

“She should be in charge. She kinda is in a way. She’s smarter and more ruthless. She saved my life when Elio froze…”

Sammy shakes her head as she takes a big gulp of wine. “No, no. I mean where does Giovanna fit in your life like romantically.” When my cheeks redden and I go silent she prods, “Come on, Francesca. You’re in love with her! Are you embarrassed about being gay or bi or whatever?”

“I don’t know what I am. I’ve enjoyed sex with men, but they just aren’t…just nothing compares to her. But I have never been with another woman so I don’t know if it is her or women in general.”

“So you and Giovanna…?”

“No,” my voice breaks and a few tears trickle down my cheeks. “We’ve been together a couple of times, but she’s made it clear that it meant nothing. She’s as bad as Elio.”

“Fuck. I’m sorry, love. That family is a fucking nightmare.”

“Utter nightmare,” I agree. “Except Massimo. We’ve been best friends since we were babies. He’s just getting busy with family business stuff and hanging out with Bluey.”

Sammy smiles sympathetically. “Well, you’ve got me, girl. And don’t worry, I won’t make you marry one of my brothers. They’re both smelly teenagers who smoke too much pot.”

It’s after midnight when I stagger from Sammy’s apartment building. I’m way too drunk to drive. Even walking straight is proving impossible. Luckily, I know my permanent shadows will be lurking in a car somewhere out the front here.

“Hello?!” I shout down the quiet street. “If there are some gentlemen around here being paid to follow me, could they kindly give me a lift home?”

Almost immediately a guy about my age who I have seen around the Marino house before hurries over. “Ms. Rossi, you shouldn’t be out here alone. You’re bloody wasted,” he scolds me.