Page 9

For a while, my mind and nerves settled, Neko safe in my arms. But a question rolled around in my brain until I could no longer contain it.

“Have you dated anyone since…”

Neko blinked up at me, and the soft smile on his lips made my heart race in my chest. At no time in my life had anyone understood me and the reason I was stoic, but with one look, he made me believe I wasn’t as much of a mystery as I thought.

“No, no, I haven’t. I… it’s not as though I’m afraid of history repeating itself. It’s more that I don’t trust I have good judgement in men and I’d end up picking the same type of predator.”

“Oh, sweetheart, I don’t think you have poor judgement. And all men aren’t like that fucker.”

The endearment slipped from my lips, but it was as natural as breathing. This man, who’d been through hell and changed his entire life while keeping his beautiful personality and sense of humor, made me crave… more.

“But how do I know? That part paralyzes me into inaction. Echo wanted to introduce me to a friend she met at VidCon, but I froze and shook at the mere mention of him.”

He trembled against me at the thought of an introduction. And the last thing I wanted for him at that moment was to live in fear.

“Hey.”

When he glanced up, I urged him closer to my side and rubbed my hand up and down his arm.

“Whatever you decide, whenever you decide, I will be there to help you through it. I’ll even sneak into the restaurant and be close by, whenever you need me. We’ll come up with a signal and if you feel distress, I’ll get you out of there.”

He closed his beautiful eyes, and I stared at the elongated eyelashes fluttering against the soft skin on his face. He inhaled a deep breath, and when he exhaled, his body melted further into mine, no longer shaking.

“You’re… I wish I met someone like you before.” He sent me a look filled with longing, which made me want to give him anything in the world, including myself. But until I worked out my sexuality, it wasn’t fair to promise Neko more than friendship.

“I hate feeling weak and defenseless, although my sisters and Echo made sure I learned how to take care of myself after. And then I celebrate my sisters are only fourteen and they aren’t interested in dating, but I know that will change. Then there’s Echo. I can see you two getting along.”

Another frown turned his mouth down.

“I’m an emotionless shell of a man who doesn’t know how to connect with humanity, so I doubt she’ll see me as anything but your friend. But I respect she has a mean swing.”

He laughed, which lessened the pressure on my chest. I’d known the man for a day and a half, and already, I wanted to do whatever I could to make him happy.

“What about you? Have you thought about getting out there again?” Neko asked.

I scoffed. “No, I… well, to be honest, I’ve thought more about relationships in the past two days than ever before. And I figure it’s not a question of who I find, but I need to think on what I want.”

I grew quiet. From the moment he opened his front door, something about Neko called to me. When I fell asleep the night before after hours of tossing and turning, the one thing that settled me into a peaceful sleep was thoughts of the man next to me.

And when I was alone at my house, getting ready for the meeting,hewas on my mind the entire time, making me feel restless. Thinking back on the day spent alone, I was eager for the time to pass. A sense of longing I’d never experienced before overwhelmed me until I closed my eyes and reminded myself I would see him in a few hours. But when I watched him attacked in his own home, everything changed for me. I wanted to protect him, spend time with him, and take care of him.

Was I falling for Neko?

The strong feelings he brought out in me were… surprising. But I needed to examine them when my emotions weren’t so all over the place.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to pry,” Neko said. His hand rubbed up and down my chest, which calmed me, along with his words.

I enjoyed when he didn’t hesitate around me. He leaned against me as I sat close to him, and with his gesture of serenity, it showed me how caring he was.

“No, you can ask all the questions you want, it’s not like I haven’t done that with you. But since meeting you, a lot of what I believed about myself isn’t true any longer and I need time to sort my thoughts.”

“I understand. But at least we’re friends, right?”

“Yeah, we’re friends.”

At that, he yawned and blinked. “Excuse me, I guess I’m more tired than I thought. The change in season, from summer to autumn, makes me want to wrap myself in a blanket and cuddle.”

Wondering if that was a hint, I cleared my throat. Neko tilted his head, but didn’t meet my eyes.