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“Yeah?”

He turned toward me and said, “Chat says they enjoyed meeting you and suggested they would be happy if you dropped in more often to the streams.”

I smiled. “I enjoyed, well, responding to their questions and if you want me for the next one, I’ll be here.”

With one last look at my Neko vibrating in his chair because of his excitement, I shut the door behind me and headed toward the kitchen. Before I cleaned up and made my lunch, I pulled out my phone and contributed anonymously toward the charity.

Supporting Neko and loving him went hand in hand. And when he squealed and shouted a few minutes later, I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.

Chapter 5

Neko-Ren

I sighedin relief when I ended the most successful charity stream of my career. Although we made goal hours before I’d hoped, I’d already asked Miles, Brody, and Wyatt, all three successful streamers in their own right, for a group game, thinking we’d raise more money if I got the others involved. It worked, but at the end of the day I sat there, exhausted.

The door opened, and I heard Graham’s voice, “Are you doing okay?”

Without getting out of my chair, I swiveled around and lifted my arms. “Is it still Saturday?”

His deep laughter washed over me before he hoisted me into his arms, and I buried my face against his neck, inhaling. With his hands cupping my ass, Graham encouraged me to wrap my legs around his waist, and I complied.

“I love being this close to you and your heavenly scent. I know I said at breakfast I wanted to pick up where we left off this morning because it was the best experience of my life. And I meant it. I’ve never come as hard before and want you more than ever. But I don’t think my body’s working right after sitting so long, even with the breaks you reminded me to take—”

Because of my normal conversation style, which was saying everything on my mind without censoring myself, Graham lifted my head and pressed a kiss to my mouth, putting a stop to the reasons we couldn’t have sex. I wanted Graham more than my next breath and relaxed into the kiss. When his tongue licked my bottom lip, I moaned as it sent shivers of pleasure through my tired body.

When we broke the kiss, he pressed his lips against my forehead in a gesture that made my heart melt in my chest.

“Don’t take what I’m about to say out of context, which I know you will before I explain, but I need to say it—”

I whimpered, not able to contain the sound in my throat, but relaxed when Graham tightened his hold on me.

“It was selfish of me to act on my desire for you this morning, on a day important for you. But I can’t drum up the guilt. Everything we’ve shared and all that’s coming for us in the future, I’d never regret time spent together. Even if we rushed into intimacy this morning.”

“Oh… oh, you don’t want to forget about our… well, our kiss. And having your mouth on my dick. I mean, it’s shocking the first time you do it, although you have one of your own. I mean, putting another man’s… well, you know, in your mouth is an intimate act and you have to care about someone in order to do—”

The soft press of his lips stopped my verbal diarrhea, and I sighed, grateful I hadn’t scared him off.

Despite my fear about dating and relationships, on a psychological level, I understood it wasn’t because I fell fast or my horrible taste in men. But to make myself vulnerable, let a man in and share my crazy life, exposed me in a way that made me not trust my decisions.

And then I met Graham. Our relationship was effortless.

There was no missing who I was; the over-sharing, emotional, clingy, touchy-feely man whose comments were more inappropriate than not. I didn’t have a brain-to-mouth filter, although my words never embarrassed or hurt anyone else because I rambled about myself when I became nervous. And through the weeks of spending every day together, Graham didn’t mind. Or at least I hadn’t alienated him, yet.

Of course, all of which I said aloud without conscious thought.

“Why does anything on your list have to be negative? It’s who you are. Before I met you, touch for me was casual and required. It wasn’t natural for me to hug anyone, much less allow myself to crave physical release, which this morning wasn’t,” Graham said.

“I didn’t think it was.” It was an honest observation.

Without another word, he turned with me in his arms and walked me down the hall to our bedroom. He’d drawn the blinds and lit the lemon sugar cookie candles, the flames flickering throughout the room. My eyes drooped as the comfort and warmth surrounded me. But as he laid me down, my eyes flew open and I reached for him.

The answering chuckle did nothing to ease the thoughts of Graham leaving me alone, but his actions did. He tucked me under the sheets, moving the comforter within arm’s reach, and followed me in. I breathed easier when he embraced me.

“Do you think I’m becoming dependent on you?” I asked.

A growl rumbled up from his chest and became vocalized as his arms tightened around me. “No, you’re independent and dazzling, and were so before you met me. I’m lucky because you allow me in your life. You give me permission to care for you when you need to eat or sleep, bringing out a side of me I’d buried deep inside. And you gave me time to contemplate what you meant to me. But by saying that, the possessive side of me wants to continue to take care of you, protect you, and when the time is right, tell you how I feel.”

I opened my mouth, wanting to clarify a few things, but I yawned hard and my jaw cracked before tears welled up in my eyes. My thoughts became jumbled and after I wiped my eyes, they closed.