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Later on, even though I found my professional niche, I wouldn’t allow myself to believe the shallow words of superficial praise from my ex. When I thought back on what he declared he liked about me, it wasn’t as though I had a choice on the shade of my skin, the length of my nose, or the plushness of my lips, which combined to make my face ‘appealing.’

Yes, I was proud of the firm jaw inherited from dad and the high cheekbones from mom, but what comprised me as a whole; being a supportive son, brother, and friend, the happiness from taking care of those I love, and having a career where I connected with others, had fun, and once in a while, led by example was more important to me than my outer shell.

He never learned to understand me, and in the end it didn’t matter. Donovan wanted to display me, show others he scored a younger man. My feelings on the subject didn’t matter.

But Graham, a gorgeous specimen of a genuine man; intelligent, funny, caring, protective, had shown me in all ways that matter how much he cares for me. He learned to cook, which started out as a desire to spend time with me, but turned into another passion for him. I’ve learned that like me, he’s a homebody, satisfied with watching TV or challenging the twins to another board game where he’d triumph as the winner. And I expected Graham will feature in my videos and streams in the future because despite his nervous protests, chat loved him and our interactions.

Last night, despite exhaustion weighing me down, my stumbling declarations of devotion, and the fact my stomach made itself known with loud and distracting grumblings, once Graham’s eyes sparked with heat, my mind shut off and there was only passion. From his sultry stares, to the way he growled my name; all of it dissolved the nervousness of Graham being my first, well, everything.

Alone and swamped with questions, I continued sliding my bare feet against the carpet in a shuffle-pace and wondered if I should await Graham on the bed. Should I be naked? Or only with my boxer briefs? But then, the idea of having him strip me, similar to those bodice rippers I used to read as a teenager, held appeal, which warmed my body.

My thoughts turned to the night before and the response he drew from me. As I stood there, the exquisite memories replayed, and I closed my eyes. The heat surged at the thought of Graham taking total control and me reveling in it. There was pleasure, more than I’d ever experienced, but the knowledge Graham was taking care of me, the one holding me close, thrilled me.

Until I allowed myself permission to delve into the past, I hadn’t realize how much I doubted myself in the last few years. Decisions about what game to play or when to stream were easy. But showing my true self, along with giving trust to others, made me tentative.

Everything changed when Graham knocked on the door to check on me. That fact alone relaxed me enough to let my guard down. Then I invited him over for dinner for selfish reasons; he drew me to him, and I wanted to get to know him. Even as friends, I knew he’d be a good one to have.

But then he watched the video.

Even before I knew Graham the way I do now, I understood his anger. It was a disgusting display of abuse that for weeks, hell, months after, held onto me as the ghost of his hand around my throat, squeezing, brought nightmares and an unconscious fear. Unknown to me, after the incident, I flinched whenever someone raised their hands or moved too fast. Dad pointed it out to me soon after the incident and I started going to a therapist for what she described to me as a trauma. Because I was open about the incident and so many people witnessed it, it became cathartic whenever I spoke about it.

Graham’s reaction yanked me out of my commonplace sameness with his steady, laid-back, ‘nothing gets to me’ persona, but brought me to life with his feelings of fierce protectiveness toward me.

I shook my head. There was no reason to be nervous or doubt him.

I blew out a relieved breath as the front door opened, the alarm code entered to shut off the beeping. Instead of his voice drifting up to me, the code was reentered in quick succession, surprising me. The thumping up the stairs startled me, only because I’d never seen Graham rush. Before I blinked, he swept into the room, picked me up in his arms, and held me close.

“What’s wrong?” I whispered.

My arms tightened around his shoulders when his body shuddered below me, similar to his reaction when he found out… oh, shit.

“Is he… did you…” I jerked back and checked him for injuries, but there weren’t any visible.

He buried his face into my neck and said, “No, well, I’m not sure. There was a car outside. I didn’t notice it before I got Hensley settled. When I turned toward the street, I sensed movement, and I tracked it to a car with someone sitting on the driver’s side. The lights were off and it wasn’t running, but when they noticed me scrutinizing them, they took off.”

“Why do you think it’s him?”

“The fucker created fake social media accounts for me hours after the stream where you introduced me as your partner. It can’t be a coincidence.”

“What do you want to do? I’ll call the police in the morning, but until then?”

The tension seeped from him, but he kept me close.

“I think we should sick the twins on him. Ruin him in every way, and then maybe he’d get the hint to stay the fuck away from you,” Graham growled, but then took a deep breath. “But because we’re both sensible adults, we’ll document everything and report it to the police. But you’re not leaving the house without me and if he threatens you, I will beat him until he no longer has brain function.”

A gasp escaped my throat, and I said, “Oh, fuck, he knows who you are. What if he comes after you?”

My body ached at the thought of Graham hurt because of me, of poor decisions I’d made in my life.

There was no way I could give him up. I accepted my selfishness, although the thought of him getting hurt… no, he wouldn’t. I’d prevent it, somehow.

“What are you thinking about?”

“You’re my person.”

Graham captured my lips and kissed me breathless. Without breaking contact, he said, “There wasn’t a doubt, sweetheart, and you’re mine.”

With his words relayed to me as a promise, I relaxed my shoulders and sunk into him, pushing my scary thoughts away.