Page 8

Neko’s hazel eyes widened before he nodded.

“Why do you keep the video up?”

“Because there are teenagers who watch my channel, along with men and women, who are going through the same experience. Even if they don’t, it’s a subject in our society we don’t talk about. We keep abuse and violence hidden, as if victims should be ashamed when manipulators and abusers target them and make their lives a living hell. The six months of videos before that one, you can see how I deteriorate. Instead of hiding it from my viewers, I admit I’m scared and don’t know what to do about it, which was therapy for me. Also, I mention organizations, phone numbers, and other helplines in the description and at the end of the video. I’m hoping they help.”

I swallowed and asked what I didn’t want to contemplate. “Did he… push himself on you?”

Neko shivered in revulsion, but shook his head. “He never forced himself on me, but we never went past… a certain point. I think he enjoyed seeing me beaten down more than he wanted me. And I wouldn’t let him touch me after a while.”

“Fuck! I hate that I’m bringing these terrible memories up for you.”

“It’s part of my life, Graham. I tell my chat all the time they are worthy of love and no one should treat them with anything other than respect. And I get questions about it from newer fans who found the video. If I get through to one person, I don’t mind the reminder of that time in my life.”

I nodded, understanding. “Okay, I’m going to let you down. But I’m… I need to be close. After watching him hurt you, I…”

“It’s fine. We can take our food and watch something on TV. Do you like true crime?”

“Are you being serious?”

“Well, I’m of the mindset that the more of everything I can learn, the more I’m prepared for the unexpected. I’ve binged watched courses on finance, biology, writing… well, you name it, I’ve searched for information about it. Or I will. But true crime captured my interest.”

I nodded, agreeing to anything as long as it involved Neko. I watched him plate the pot roast, and then he took the potatoes from the pot, mashed them and added butter, cream, and fresh dill, before plopping mounds of the creamy side next to the meat. The carrots, onions, and slices of fresh baked bread finished the dish.

We picked up our dinner, and he led me past the living room into a windowless family room with a gigantic TV, game systems, a Blu-ray player, and a comfortable leather couch.

I watched as Neko placed his plate on the sturdy wooden coffee table in front of the couch before he turned to me.

“What would you like to drink?”

“I’ll go get it.” I figured the room without windows or a door that led outside left him secure.

“Sure, can you fill the bottle next to the fridge with ice water?”

I nodded and strode toward the kitchen, finding his bottle and filling it up. I searched through two cupboards before I found a glass and poured myself the same. The tightness in my chest loosened as I spotted him, crossed legged on the couch, as his thin fingers searched his phone for videos to watch.

Tonight, he wore a black hoodie with a rainbow striped heart in the center along with heather gray sweats and chunky white socks. I missed the black tights.

“Here you go.” I handed him his drink and absorbed the heat from his touch as our fingers brushed together.

“Thanks. How about we watch the Great British Baking Show while we’re eating? We can get into the other videos later.”

I shrugged. “I’ve never seen it.”

His hand opened over his heart, and he exaggerated a gasp. “Well, we’re going to rectify your egregious oversight of the greatest show ever made with season one and work our way through.”

“Iguess. If you think it’s necessary.”

I chuckled as he slapped my arm.

Unable to shake the uneasiness of what I witnessed, I sat closer to Neko than necessary. Instead of inching away, he leaned his shoulder against mine and started eating as an upbeat theme song surrounded us.

About the time they were going to start the technical challenge, we’d finished dinner, which was delicious, and Neko relaxed his entire body against my side. He had both legs bent, knees pressed together and tilted toward me. It felt natural, so I lifted my arm and he settled his head against my chest.

“You’re so warm.”

“And you smell amazing.”

He chuckled at my observation, sending vibrations through me, and I dropped my hand to his waist and held him closer.