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“You okay?” Graham whispered.

My eyes darted up and met his sparkling ones. With a quick flick down to see his smile, I met his gaze again and nodded.

“I’m thinking too much again.”

“Hey, please don’t waste your time on that dickwad. He isn’t worth it.”

“Oh, I wasn’t thinking about him. I’m… curious about your earlier statement?”

He leaned closer, studying my gaze. “Despite my dismal dating history, I’m remembering when men caught my attention. But bringing up my parents earlier, I realized I never pursued a relationship with a guy because of them.”

My brain worked on the correlation, and when I found several possibilities, I asked, “How so?”

“Every interest I had, from football to art, they never encouraged me. It was immature or beneath the Norris family. But when my best friend, Henry, came out his sophomore year of high school and they found out about it, they sat me down and were remarkable. They explained love doesn’t see gender and if I fell in love with a boy, they’d be okay with it.”

“Hm? So you think you repressed a part of yourself because they were accepting of it?”

“It makes sense now, that I’ve had distance from them.”

“Congratulations,” I said.

“What? Why?”

“Because you’ve discovered a part of yourself. I think that deserves celebration.” I kissed him on the cheek.

“Thank you.”

We shared a smile that made my heart feel lighter.

Chapter 4

Graham

When I became cognizant,or closer to reality, as I jerked awake to the shrill beeping sound coming from somewhere in the darkened room, I rolled over to protect his sleeping body as my sluggish brain searched out the source of the noise. I blinked, and then again, until I focused. For a long few seconds, I stared at the orange button on his phone, alight atop his nightstand, until I slammed my hand down on the annoying device, somehow shutting it off.

“What?” Neko asked.

I sagged because the offending sound stopped, melted into his warm body, and snuggled my face into the back of his neck.

“Why do you have an alarm for eight on a Saturday morning?”

“I… there’s something, but I forgot. Tired, still, shush.”

There’s a reason two people who hated mornings shouldn’t become a couple. Not that we are together in that way, yet. And not that I haven’t thought about it every waking moment while spending each night in his bed, craving his kisses and touches more than my stupid brain believed I was ready for. But then again, my analytical side stopped me from pursuing anything until I was ready.

Well, that cleared shit right up.

My mind roused from my previous state of dead asleep the more I ran the Neko equation around and around in my head. The hesitation, I could admit in the early morning with the man in my arms, was not Neko, but the change it would cause. In the few weeks we’ve known each other, I’ve felt protective and happy, I’ve laughed more, and become part of a family.

What if I lose him by being me? Which meant boring, self-centered, meticulous, and used to being alone. All the things a rational person wouldn’t want in a partner. On top of all of my shining qualities to tempt the man, I’m also ten years older than him.

Come to think of it, our age difference doesn’t bother me. Hell, I might look like a daddy, especially when we stand close to each other, but it had more to do with my height, my hair, beard, and muscular body. And from the way I don’t express emotions with ease.

Shit, again, not making myself shine here.

Until Neko, I never would have considered myself to have an addictive personality. But here I am, again, sleeping with the object of my obsession after a late night of watching his old let’s plays, not in a hurry to head home and sleep alone, in a bed where I’m not surrounded by the essence of citrus and baked goods.

Yes, I understood I rented the house next door, but I’ve stayed overnight a total of fourteen times. My excuse, I’d moved in and hadn’t met Neko during those first two weeks.