Page 144 of From Drummer to Gamer

I hadn’t even touched my drums, and there wasn’t a single day in the past seventeen years since I took my first drumsticks had that happened.

Because everything reminded me of her.

It was so unfamiliar yet soul crushing.

I wanted my firecracker back with me.

Brightening my days with her sunshine smile and keeping me company at night with those wide hazel eyes.

“You seem grumpier than usual,” Mikey commented, eyeing me with concern for once rather than his usual playfulness.

I didn’t even bother to answer him.

His question made Emmie eye me with concern too. “You okay, Matty?” he asked, lowering himself to the couch while he adjusted his sling to make himself comfortable.

After the LA concert, everything went wrong for Emmie and his girl, Evy, and he had to spend a week in the hospital. But thankfully, he was okay now.

I didn’t bother answering him either.

This was the first time in a while we were all together other than the two shows we played in Madison Square and LA a while ago.

But I wasn’t in it. I only forced myself to come because the four of us were meeting after a long fucking time.

“Must be his girl,” Lan muttered, going back to staring at the ceiling while lying on the couch. He still had the same troubled expression on his face. He came after he learned Emmie got hurt, even Katy did. I still had no idea what was going on between them. They seemed to be together yet worlds apart, and I didn’t bother questioning or wondering about them because all I thought of washer.

“His girl?” Emmie frowned. “You’re dating someone?”

“Oh, I know who.” Mikey grinned. “It must be his pretty roommate.”

I held him in a stare, like he was the one to speak. He was sneaking behind Emmie, playing housemates with his little sister, Lily. But then, Mikey and Lily were always the endgame. I was glad they were finally coming to their senses.

“Sierra?” Emmie asked, smiling.

I shook my head.

His smile dropped, and Mikey’s brow pinched while Lan’s questioning gaze found mine.

“We’re not together anymore. And I don’t want to talk about it,” I said flatly.

They all collectively sighed but nodded, letting it go.

They knew me well enough to know I wasn’t a talker, and I didn’t like to discuss my personal life unless I wanted to.

I spent the rest of the night with them before returning to my empty apartment. I contemplated moving because every crevice of it reminded me of her.

Her feet in the air while she watched TV, the empty tray in the kitchen that she filled up with my favorite muffins, and her trail of Cheetos packets leading to her.

After a quick shower, I headed straight to my bed.

I curled up on top and dragged the sheets all over me.

It felt like I had a part of her wrapped around me, her smell stained on my sheets.

Because I was a fool for her leftover parts.

Sweet honey and vanilla.

But even that was fading now, and thinking about it only gaped the hole in my chest.