Page 135 of From Drummer to Gamer

You see, my parents had an unshakable view of life, but the way they protected and loved me was something I couldn’t deny. I found myself questioning whether my career was worth the price of losing my parents. And it simply wasn’t.

Gaming would always be a part of who I am, my identity, but not at the cost of my parents.

And then there was Matty. I felt so guilty to be even thinking about him.

I spoke very few words on our phone calls and texted sporadically, not for the lack of trying on his part. But I just felt like he didn’t deserve me stringing him along.

I was going to be back here in Iona, and his life was in New York.

I didn’t know how I fit in all of that.

Would we work as a long-distance couple?

Were we even that solid to think of something like that? We’d only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks, but I already knew Matty was it for me.

No other man could take abode in my heart.

That place was only for him.

I was irrevocably and irresistibly in love with Matty Evans.

And I didn’t think that would change till the day I died.

But was it right of me to give him false hope and make this harder for him? He deserved to be with someone who had their shit together, who had their life figured out, someone strong by his side, not a girl going through a midlife crisis in her teens.

But I was selfish.

I couldn’t just let him go like that.

He was my everything.

“You’re thinking a little too hard, mi amor.” Abuela peered down at me with her intelligent eyes while her hands worked her crochet hooks like a pro.

“Maybe,” I mumbled, burying myself deeper in her lap.

She and Raphy were the only ones who made me feel a semblance of myself again. Abuela had a few choice words for Dad when I returned home, not like he listened, taking Mom’s side, who was satisfied with my decision to return.

Yet reminded me clearly that her disappointment still remained.

After learning my actual GPA, my mom right about snapped at me with a hard glare before sighing heavily and giving me the biggest lecture about how I should’ve taken my studies seriously and how it was too late to get into a good college now.

But still, she announced with a firm tone that she would do the research this time and gather the best possible options for me.

“Is it about that pretty boy?” Abuela gave a cheesy smile that deepened the wrinkles on her smooth brown skin.

“He’s not a boy, Abuela. He’s twenty-seven.”

She lifted a shoulder. “To me, he is a boy, mi amor.”

I mean, technically yes.

“So is it that boy who’s got you frowning like that?”

“No.” My eyes softened, and my heart puddled just thinking about him. “He would never make me frown or sad. He appears so hard on the outside, but he’s like a teddy bear, always taking care of me and encouraging me.”

“Seems like you’ve fallen in love, mi amor.” Abuela grinned, setting aside her crochet and threading her fingers through my hair. “Falling in love with the right man isn’t something everyone gets to experience in this lifetime. You’re one of the lucky ones.”

“I don’t feel so lucky,” I mumbled.