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“It hasn’t beenthatlong.”
He snickers. “Dude, nowI’mtrying to lighten the mood.”
And really, I’m glad someone is trying because this shit is way too serious right now.
He takes a breath. “I know you probably don’t have those kinds of feelings for me, and I guess since you’re the first person who experienced what was happening to me—”
“Twice.”
He smiles again, and fuck, what it does to me knowing I can make him smile like that.
Why did I just think that…?
Wait, why is that thought surprising me when I keep having these kinds of thoughts?
“I’ve never felt this way about other guys, Lance. And I’vepulled up images online, but it seems it’s just you who gets me going.”
I swear, it’s like the guy is trying to poke at my inner…whatever the hell is making me interested.
“And I don’t know what to do about it,” he concludes. “Sorry if I’m making this too weird.”
“You’re definitely doing that.”
He huffs, nodding, avoiding eye contact.
And…I can’t deny something’s happening for me too. “I guess this would be a good time to tell you that whatever’s going on with you, I…get what you mean.”
His gaze cuts right to me.
“And I don’t know what’s going on either, but even while you’ve been talking about this…” I indicate my crotch, and it catches his gaze.
“Oh…”
“Yeah…”
“What are we gonna do, Lance?”
That’s the million-dollar question.
“Right now, it’s all in our heads. We haven’t actually done anything with each other, so what if we tried and we didn’t even like it?”
“That’s true,” he says. “Like with this girl I met in San Antonio. I thought we’d have a great time, but then we kissed, and there just wasn’t any chemistry there.”
“Sure,” I say, once again fighting back that knee-jerk irritation at hearing about one of these girls he’s done stuff with.
“What if we try to mess around, see what happens, and then we’ll know for sure.”
I nod. This isn’t an erotic thing. It’s practical. We both have questions, and this is the surest way to get answers.
He licks his lips, and fuck, now I can’t take my eyes off his lips.
“Yeah,” he goes on. “Chances are we get a little grossed out and move on. But maybe it doesn’t mean anything about the two of us as much as that there could be something for guys, right?”
“Yeah,” I say, though I hate the thought that we might mess around and it won’t be as satisfying as I have a feeling it’d be. But am I really suggesting me and my Sigma Alpha rival mess around to sort this out?
I mean, it feels like the only right way to do it but also like I’m in way over my head.
“You free later?” he asks.