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“I didn’t bring it up to worry you about something else, but because Grant and I once had a discussion while he was sick. He said he could have just as easily been hit by a car. Or taken an unexpected fall and that be the end of it. Or had an aneurysm or heart attack or any other thing that happens to so many people every day.”
“Is this supposed to cheer me up?” I ask, more than a little distressed.
“He was saying there are so many things we can’t plan for that could be the end, while also reminding me that we don’t go around thinking about each and every one because we’ll drive ourselves out of our minds. Now, I’m obviously not saying you shouldn’t worry about Lance, because you absolutely should after what happened. And yes, there is a chance that something bad might happen. But there’s also a chance that he could be okay. And don’t let what’s happened to us make you forget that either.”
My chin quivers, my eyes watering, but somehow a snicker breaks through.
“What’s funny about that?” she asks.
“It does sound like something Grant would say.”
She tears up too. “Yeah, I think some of my optimism comes from him.”
And now I’m crying again. Fuck.
“I wish I could be half as optimistic as he had been,” I say, “even when we were losing him.”
“We still have Grant here with us,” Mom says. “Not in the way we want, but his wisdom, his kindness, his character.We’ll always have that, and don’t forget it.”
It’s something I should remember, especially when I’m so filled with resentment and anger that he’s not around anymore.
“So you care about Lance…a lot?”
A lot?
“You make it sound like a crush. It’s much more than that. Lance is one of the coolest, funnest, kindest guys I’ve ever met. And then what he did tonight, throwing himself into danger to save Frat Cat, that’s so something that dumbass would do. And I kind of fucking hate him for that, but it also makes me love—”
I stop myself.
I wasn’t expecting my mind to go there.
I was already falling hard for the guy, but it’s like the whirlwind we’ve been through tonight brought clarity, perspective.
My mind runs back through all the shit-giving and barbs we’d sling at each other. Grating on each other’s nerves. That wild morning when we found ourselves bound together by Omega Psi. The TaskFrat where we realized there was more to it than we could have ever imagined. And then…everything that’s happened since.
“That little prick,” I say, shaking my head, smiling. I can’t deny what I’m feeling. Not after what’s happened.
“I love him, Mom.”
“Oh, honey.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about him sooner. I wanted to share that over the break next week. I thought you deserved to know in person. Because I wanted you to know just how amazing this guy is.”
“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t surprised, considering you’vealways been interested in girls. But I know that anyone who’s caught your eye is incredibly lucky to have you.”
“I appreciate that, Mom, but you’ve definitely got it the wrong way.”
The door opens, and a nurse steps in.
“Mom, they’re here. Lemme call you later.”
We exchange I-love-yous before I get off the phone.
“Where is he?” I ask.
“Lance is fine,” the nurse says. “He’s been transferred to a room. We’ve given him some medicine to keep his airway relaxed. We don’t see any obvious signs of damage to his throat, so we’re hopeful everything will come back looking good. Our protocol is to keep him for a bit and observe him. The risk right now is the potential for inflammation, and we want to ensure that doesn’t happen. But assuming everything’s fine, he might be able to get out as soon as tomorrow.”
I take a breath as the nurse leads me to the room he’s in.