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He runs his hand through his hair, messing up his bangs, then starts for the door. I think he might be about to head out, which would make this whole situation even stranger than it already is, but then he spins toward me. “Lance, you were wrong.”
“I wasn’t expecting an accusation to start. What was I wrong about?”
“I don’t think I’m just horny as fuck.”
Shit.
“Friday after the party, after we talked about it, I was actually jerking off…”
I cringe. “Is this something we need to get into?”
“It’s relevant,” he insists, so I let him go on. “I was thinking about this girl I hooked up with over the summer. Hot-as-hell blonde in Miami…”
A pulse of rage rushes through me, the sort I might have had for him any other time when I knew he was having this incredible sex life, but now I’m wondering if some of this jealousy isn’t becausehewas with that girl, but thatshewas with him. Is this how he felt about Angie?
“It was incredible,” he says. “Like fucking-for-hours kind of fucking—”
“I don’t need the details of your sex life. And why did you bring me in here to talk about how you were jerking off thinking about this girl? Sounds like I was right, and yet you said I was wrong. I’m so fucking confused.”
“Because I started thinking aboutyou,” he spits out, and I’m so thrown, he might as well have told me the building was on fire.
“Me?” I ask, barely able to make sense of the thoughts in my head.
“Like…here I was, thinking about one of the hottest sexual experiences of my life, and then suddenly I’m thinking about you.”
“Bet that killed the mood real fast,” I blurt out.
I don’t even know why I said that. After what he shared so far, I know that can’t be the case, yet a part of me just can’t accept the weird-ass thing that’s been going on between us the past few days.
But as we make eye contact, his expression even more serious than when he’s trying to stomp Alpha Theta Mu’s ass during a challenge, I’m aware of how much my being there didn’t kill the mood even before he says, “I came harder than I’ve ever come in my life.”
There go my cheeks again.
“You were thinking about…what? Us messing around?”
His face twists up. “Do you really want to know?”
“The hell? I didn’t want to know any of this, but if you’re gonna share this much, I don’t see why you need to stop.”
He hesitates, as though some reasonable part of his brain knows better than to share, before he says, “Fucking you, Lance. I was fucking you. Like giving you the time of your life, watching you enjoy every inch of me. Jesus, are you happy?”
Happyisn’t the word I’d use, but my face is burning, and my dick is getting pretty stiff, the two events assuring me that what happened between us and what I’ve been thinking about between last Friday and today isn’t a fluke.
“And,” he continues, “I’ve been trying to give myself some time to think aboutwhyI was thinking about you, but now it’s like burned into my fucking brain, and it’s just, like, haunting me at this point.”
“You wanted to fuck me?” It’s hard to tell if I need him to confirm what he just said or if Iwantto hear him say it again.
“No, I was trying not to think about that,” he says, then, “But…yes. A lot. Like right until I blew.”
He quiets again, and as uncomfortable as the silences were before, this time it feels unbearable. He won’t even look at me.
“Lance, I’ve never had to deal with something like this before, but I think…no, Iknow, I want to act on some of these things. And I’m wondering if maybe I misunderstood that first time…”
“When you came all over me? Yeah, maybe that should have been some kind of indication for both of us.”
He glares at me again, and I realize why. “Whoa, I wasn’t making a joke,” I assure him.
“Just saying I should have probably put two and two together. I know your erection was probably because you are this fucking prude who hasn’t had sex in like a million years, but mine—”