Page 69

How could we not have realized that was what we needed to do before?

On the other hand, I’m one of the few people who’s pushed us to look longterm. And for the most part, they’ve all pushed back because it’s been accurate to think that we needed to look to our own survival ahead of anything else.

But it’s galling to see how easily handled Cedar Falls is by simply threatening to tell everyone the truth.

If we’d done this earlier, would half of this happened?

Coltrain sits in the back of the van with us and any time any of us hounds speak, he looks startled, like he still can’t believe it.

“When did it start?” he says.

No one says anything.

The van is moving at this point. We’re all going back to Connecticut, for better or worse. Can we trust Coltrain? After all, we know that Calix doesn’t have anyone who can leak information about Cedar Falls. His threat—the one he’s using to pull Coltrain’s strings—it’s an elaborate bluff. Based on the strength of that, we’ve just given ourselves up to this man?

On the other hand, I suppose it’s a little bit miraculous.

Through the bond, from Arrow, we can feel how incredulous he is that the police let us go after we killed two of their own. He isn’t sure how Coltrain could have possibly done it.

“When did what start?” says Calix.

“The talking,” says Coltrain. “Dr. Acker said that she was worried you could do it and were hiding it. That you were all just biding your time before you could leave. Was it like that?”

I glare at him. “We didn’t like it there. We did always want to escape. But no, we couldn’t communicate.”

Coltrain can’t meet my gaze. “So, when?”

Again, no one answers.

Coltrain spreads his hands. “Okay, look, I get it. You don’t like me. You never liked Dr. Acker. But let me explain to you that while she may have had a vested interest in suppressing any of your ability to regain your mental capacity, I sure as hell didn’t. You can’t imagine what a nightmare it was to discover that this rare side effect was happening sometimes to our clients. You can’t think that I wanted anything except for it to be cured.”

I regard him. Maybe that’s true. Maybe.

He meets my gaze. “Mr. Butler—er, do you prefer Father Nicholas?”

I snort, looking away.

“Well, whatever you want me to call you—”

“Striker’s fine.” I meet his gaze again.

He flinches. “We fucked you up, okay, I get it.” He groans. “I do want to fix it. Can you believe that?”

No one says anything.

Coltrain sighs.

And we drive.

Maybe ten minutes later, Coltrain tries again. “I don’t see how I’m going to figure out how to help you or the other alphas and omegas with brain damage if you don’t tell me what happened or how it got better.”

“How about you tell us a few things first,” says Calix. “Establish some trust.”

“Oh, you got me by the balls, you know that?” Coltrain sighs. “You have no idea how hard it was to get you free of those cops. They were out for blood. And I… the first thing they did was show me Debbie’s body. The back of her skull was matted blood. She was just… bludgeoned. Whoever did that just kept at it after she was already dead. So…”

“Yeah, but you get that, right?” says Calix tightly. “Because you know what she did.”

“Some of it,” says Coltrain. “Acker kept things from me, though.”