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I had never thought anything about Natalie one way or the other, was the truth of it.

But it was a novel idea, being wanted like that.

So, I asked her on a date.

She said yes.

We went out.

It was fine.

I even kissed her, I remember, but it was…

I got this feeling when I was out with her, this feeling of a power differential, because I could tell that she liked me more than I liked her, and it seemed sort of wrong for me to continue to string her along when I could tell my feelings for her weren’t nearly that intense.

So, I politely ended it.

And then I spent years looking for the intensity within myself and never finding it.

At some point, I decided I never would. I’d be a priest and devote myself to God. I wouldn’t need a romantic relationship, because I would be a servant to all God’s children. I would feel love in that way, and in some ways, it would be better than a romantic connection, I thought.

For so long, I thought I’d never experience anything like that.

Now, I’m going to bite Lotus.

I am going to create a life bond with my omega, and I am going to tie myself forever, to this, with these other four people. The five of us will be a pack, and we’ll be inextricably intertwined.

I’m nervous.

I can’t wait.

I never wanted anything the way I want this.

What if something goes wrong?

Eventually, Lotus and Calix come back up.

Then, it’s awkward.

Calix says that we could have some privacy, if we want.

I shut this down. “No, if something goes wrong, I want to be sure that I can’t hurt her. I want you guys there to stop me if I lose it.”

“Well, what are the odds that we all lose it?” says Arrow in a subdued voice. He looks at Knight. “I was hoping our bond could stop it, but it couldn’t.”

“That was with Acker there, though,” says Knight. “She’s asleep, right?”

“Right,” says Lotus.

“We’ll be fine,” says Knight.

“You always say that,” I mutter at him.

“And we’re always fine,” says Knight. “Aren’t we? She’s alive, isn’t she? She’s not permanently damaged. She’s—”

“Here’s what I think,” I say. “I think I should just do the bite.”

“That’s what we’re doing,” says Lotus, confused. “What do you mean?”