Page 132

“For the longest I thought she had some rich sugar daddy or fairy godmother that I didn’t know about, but now I know it was you. Did you also pay for my college?”

I laugh. “Yes.”

That was the least I could do for the two people that brought me into their lives when I was at my lowest and loved me despite not deserving it. From the moment Ms. Cheryl lost her job, I paid for everything for them.

“Someone that doesn’t deserve redemption wouldn’t do that. I don’t care who you once were. All I know is in the last seventeen years you have been in my life, you have been the most thoughtful and caring person I’ve ever met. Our friendship may seem brief compared to your long life, but it means a lot to me. And I want you to be happy.”

I shake my head. “Even if I forgave myself or believed I deserved forgiveness, Enzo and I won’t last. He’s only staying in this thing because he thinks it’s what the Goddess wants. Eventually, he’s going to realize that I’m not what he wants.”

“I think you’re wrong. I’ve seen him around you. He likes you.”

“He is under the mating spell,” I say, tossing my hands up. “He’s only doing all this because he thinks it’s what he’s supposed to do. Enzo doesn’t want me.”

I am convinced this man is only going through the motions of what he thinks a mate should do. He believes the moon goddess wants this, so he’s giving it his all. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed this time. But I’m not stupid. If any other wolf would’ve mated with him that night, he would do the same thing for her. I’m not special to him, I’m just a job.

“I think I get it now,” she says, shaking her head. “I mean thinking back, I understand why you didn’t date in middle school and high school. That age difference would’ve made it weird, but as time passed and you were able to have adultrelationships, you still made every excuse in the book. I think it’s more than you not thinking you deserve happiness. I think you’re afraid of love.”

I laugh to play off the fact that she has just cracked my code.

“I’m not afraid of love.”

She lifts her brow and folds her arms over her chest the way her mom would do when she knew we were lying.

Rolling my eyes, I sigh. “I’m not afraid of love, Liz. I’m afraid of what love can do to you.” I turn to that lake watching Miko play. “Love can turn you into someone that you don’t even notice when you look in the mirror. Someone that is so stained that no number of good deeds will ever wash away the filth. For me, love has been brutal, it’s lied, it’s been manipulative, and it has hurt. And once it has taken everything out of you, it discards you like trash leaving you broken and lying on the cold hard ground.”

When I turn back to face my best friend, tears are falling down her cheeks. Using the back of my hand, I wipe her face. Those pregnancy hormones have her extra emotional.

“Don’t cry for me. I don’t deserve your tears.”

She wraps her arms around me and pulls me into a hug. I shut my eyes, enjoying her warmth.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I’m sorry that some undeserving man hurt you. I’m sorry that no one has ever told you how important you are or how much you deserve.”

Liz pulls back and looks me in my eyes.

“I’m telling you, as your best friend, you are worthy. And you will find the right type of love again. Someone that deserves you and will cherish you.”

I smile even though I know her words will never come true. There isn’t anyone out there for me. My story does not end with a happily ever after.

“Come on,” I say, grabbing her hand. “I’d hate for one of your pack members to walk up on us and find you crying. They will swear I hurt their precious Luna.”

She tosses her head back. “You leave my pack alone.”

We both turn to pay attention to Miko. After only a moment, she breaks the silence.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything,” I say, bumping her shoulder with mine. She turns to me.

“Could you have saved my mother?”

Her question catches me off guard. I didn’t think she would ever ask me this. I let out a deep breath.

“I wanted to,” I admit. “I even begged her to let me save her. She said eternity didn’t sound appealing to her. She’d much rather go meet her God.”

Liz laughs through her tears. “That sounds like mama.”

“She had me make her a promise, though. She said that for as long as I lived, I had to look out for you. And you know I’d never break a promise to Ms. Cheryl.”