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It’s been ten days since Enzo invited me to go camping. We have yet to go. It seems like every time we go to make the date, something comes up. Just two days ago, a mutilated cow was dumped on the land. The ferals are going after livestock now. Which is not good. If the townspeople start complaining too much, it will draw the attention of the council back.

“What are you stressing about?”his voice is like clockwork. The moment I have any feeling other than happiness or calmness, he checks in on me.

I try so hard to keep from smiling or getting excited when he does this. Look, I won’t lie, I’m enjoying his company. All the touching and kissing is new but pleasurable to me. He’s funny, charming, assertive, protective, and the way he cares about Marley brings me to my knees. But I know this isn’t real. It never is.

“I’m good, wolf. Stay out of my head.”

He chuckles, causing my nipples to harden.“You didn’t have a problem with me being in your head last night. Do you only like me in your head when I’m feasting on your pussy?”

A flash back of his face buried between my legs last night while I fought to keep moans at bay flashes through my mind. I have to admit, as much as I want to keep the distance between us, I can’t turn this man down in the bedroom. I crave his sex about as much as I crave blood.

“If you don’t mind,”I say, laughing.“I am trying to spend time with my best friend. Please don’t fill my head with dirty thoughts.”

His chuckle has me squeezing my thighs.“I’ll leave you alone. For now.”

Enzo slips out of my head. I hate how I immediately miss his presence.

“I know that face,” Liz says, getting my attention. “You must be talking to your mate.”

I cut my eyes over to her as she rubs her 35-week-pregnant belly. I ignore that tinge of jealousy that hits me. I’m over the moon happy for my best friend, but I won’t lie like it doesn’t remind me of what I’ll never have.

“Maybe.”

She tosses her head back and laughs. “Just admit it, you are head over heels for Enzo.”

Stopping to think about that comment for a minute, I take in the way I feel about him. I like him. I can even admit that I’m always eager to see him when he gets home. And the way he fucks me should be celebrated like a holiday. But am I in love with the Beta? Do I even deserve love?

“I don’t know about all of that. Besides, it’s best I don’t get caught up in all this. I’m sure it won’t last long.”

Her gaze narrows at me. “Why are you always like this?”

“What?”

“Ever since we were kids, you have been the most supportive and encouraging person I have ever met. However, when it comes to you, you are so negative. It’s like you don’t believe you deserve happiness.”

I shrug as I look out over the river where Miko is splashing.

“Because I don’t.”

When I look back at Liz, her gaze is locked in on me.

“Why do you think that?”

“I’ve lived a long time, Liz. I wasn’t always a good person. I’ve done things. Things that make it hard for me to sleep at night.” This is the most honest I’ve ever been with anyone about my past. I have built up walls and created barriers around myself to keep my past exactly where I left it. But for some reason, I wanted to share it with Liz.

“I was once everything the wolves hate about vampires. Things I’ve done, things I participated in, they can’t be forgiven.” I don’t turn to face her. Yet, I still feel the heat of her gaze on the side of my face.

“Who are you now?”

Her question has me looking over at her. She stares at me, her brow pinched.

“You’re telling me who you were once, but who are you now?” she asks. “Because no one is perfect, Michaela. Everyone has a past. You need to forgive yourself. You deserve redemption.”

I chuckle, but it lacks humor. “I’m not so sure about that.”

Liz turns her body toward me. Placing her hand on my cheek she turns me toward her.

“You may not be sure, but I am.” Her hand falls back to her side. “For years I wondered how we were able to pay that house off when mama had her first big flair my sophomore year in high school and couldn’t work anymore. When I asked her, she told me not to stress because it was handled. Next thing I know, the house, the cars, and mother’s medical bills were all paid off.