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I took the dish from her and waited for her to continue. For some perverse reason, I wanted to hear her say that we were done. It would give me the final push I needed to lock away this burgeoning, unwanted love my heart was determined to give to her.
Her gaze softened. “You know what, I'm not sorry I haven’t responded.”
I was surprised and pleased at her honesty. “Well, okay. If that’s how it is.” I started to close the door. Pain ripped and tightened its grip on my chest at her words even if it was exactly what I wanted to hear.
She stopped me, pushing forward until she stood in the foyer. “Iamsorry I didn’t tell you I needed space.”
“I get it,” I said, turning around to bring the dish into the kitchen. All I’d had was beer today and the delicious smell of the food made my stomach twist with hunger pangs.
I heard the door shut and her quick steps catching up with me.
“Beckett, wait.”
I grabbed a fork from the drawer as I strode past it and placed the dish on the island. I inhaled deeply as I tore off the tinfoil and dug in. Who needed plates? Not me.
I finished chewing before I responded. I wasn’t a total heathen. “Wren, if you want out, it’s fine.” It wasn’t fine. I was annoyed that she’d ignored me, irritated that she was ending things, and aggravated that it bothered me.
She stood across from me and slammed her hands down on the island. “Will you stop for one second?”
I kept eating, not sure what was happening right now.
“I was scared, Beckett. Virginia could ruin everything. She could ruin me. I’ve been hiding out in my apartment, devouring ice cream like it’s a major food group because I’ve been waiting for a phone call from my principal telling me I’m fired.”
Oh fuck.I was an asshole. I knew this was what she feared most and yet I continued to let it slip my mind so I could wallow in agony.
I’d been so wrapped up in my conflicting emotions about Zoey and her grandparents, I’d let my anger at her not responding get out of control. When we left the restaurant that night, I knew she was freaked out, but I’d expected us to talk about it. And when she didn’t respond, I told myself it wasn’t my problem. I was a fool.
“I’m sorry, Wren.” I dropped my head back and stared at the ceiling, working to gather my thoughts. When I looked at her, the defeated stance in her posture struck me in the solar plexus. I wasn’t ready to admit to my growing feelings for her, but she deserved to know why I acted the way I did. “I know it might not make sense, but when you gave up and wouldn’t talk to me, I had this irrational sense that you’d walked out without a word. And it pissed me off.”
“It wasn’t my intention to cause you to feel that way. I’m sorry.” She worried her bottom lip.
I knew she hadn’t. I’d let my past interfere, and it clawed into my subconscious, raising every negative thought and doubt I figured I’d already dealt with after my father abandoned me. No matter how much I was freaking out inside, I couldn’t walk away. I didn’t want to love her, and I was struggling to find a good enough reason to leave. My body and soul craved her and that seemed to override the fear trying to gain traction in my mind.
I dropped the fork I’d been holding and moved to the other side of the island. I was irresistibly drawn to her and didn’t want to fight it. At least not now. I had to touch her. That was the only thing that made sense. And the only thing that seemed to turn my world right side up. My hands found my favorite spot on her wide hips. I kept my hold loose in case she wanted to pull away.
She raised her eyes to meet mine.
“I think we were trying to protect ourselves and instead, hurt each other.”
She gave a mirthless laugh. “That sounds about right.”
I slipped my arms around her, sighing joyfully that she let me pull her in tight for a hug. All the stress and tension that had flooded my body for the last two days slipped away, and my equilibrium returned to normal.
“What are we doing, Beckett?”
“Talking things out.”
Her cheek pressed to my chest muffled the sound of frustration she made. “Right, but couples talk things out. Not sexcapade, friends with benefits.”
I rubbed my chin against her hair. She wasn’t wrong, and I wasn’t feeling the typical panic sweeping my body at her words. Wren had slipped beneath my defenses until all I wanted was for it to be her and me against the world. “Maybe that’s not a bad thing.”
“What did you just say?” She leaned back in my arms, her mouth dropped open in this adorable little ‘o.’
I cupped her face with one of my hands. “Maybe we should think about changing things up.”
“You don’t want a relationship. Remember?Wedidn’t want a relationship.”
“Tell me you never had a thought this could be something more, and I’ll let it drop.” Zoey was right today. Not being together was stupid. Wren and I fit.
Her gaze softened. “You know what, I'm not sorry I haven’t responded.”
I was surprised and pleased at her honesty. “Well, okay. If that’s how it is.” I started to close the door. Pain ripped and tightened its grip on my chest at her words even if it was exactly what I wanted to hear.
She stopped me, pushing forward until she stood in the foyer. “Iamsorry I didn’t tell you I needed space.”
“I get it,” I said, turning around to bring the dish into the kitchen. All I’d had was beer today and the delicious smell of the food made my stomach twist with hunger pangs.
I heard the door shut and her quick steps catching up with me.
“Beckett, wait.”
I grabbed a fork from the drawer as I strode past it and placed the dish on the island. I inhaled deeply as I tore off the tinfoil and dug in. Who needed plates? Not me.
I finished chewing before I responded. I wasn’t a total heathen. “Wren, if you want out, it’s fine.” It wasn’t fine. I was annoyed that she’d ignored me, irritated that she was ending things, and aggravated that it bothered me.
She stood across from me and slammed her hands down on the island. “Will you stop for one second?”
I kept eating, not sure what was happening right now.
“I was scared, Beckett. Virginia could ruin everything. She could ruin me. I’ve been hiding out in my apartment, devouring ice cream like it’s a major food group because I’ve been waiting for a phone call from my principal telling me I’m fired.”
Oh fuck.I was an asshole. I knew this was what she feared most and yet I continued to let it slip my mind so I could wallow in agony.
I’d been so wrapped up in my conflicting emotions about Zoey and her grandparents, I’d let my anger at her not responding get out of control. When we left the restaurant that night, I knew she was freaked out, but I’d expected us to talk about it. And when she didn’t respond, I told myself it wasn’t my problem. I was a fool.
“I’m sorry, Wren.” I dropped my head back and stared at the ceiling, working to gather my thoughts. When I looked at her, the defeated stance in her posture struck me in the solar plexus. I wasn’t ready to admit to my growing feelings for her, but she deserved to know why I acted the way I did. “I know it might not make sense, but when you gave up and wouldn’t talk to me, I had this irrational sense that you’d walked out without a word. And it pissed me off.”
“It wasn’t my intention to cause you to feel that way. I’m sorry.” She worried her bottom lip.
I knew she hadn’t. I’d let my past interfere, and it clawed into my subconscious, raising every negative thought and doubt I figured I’d already dealt with after my father abandoned me. No matter how much I was freaking out inside, I couldn’t walk away. I didn’t want to love her, and I was struggling to find a good enough reason to leave. My body and soul craved her and that seemed to override the fear trying to gain traction in my mind.
I dropped the fork I’d been holding and moved to the other side of the island. I was irresistibly drawn to her and didn’t want to fight it. At least not now. I had to touch her. That was the only thing that made sense. And the only thing that seemed to turn my world right side up. My hands found my favorite spot on her wide hips. I kept my hold loose in case she wanted to pull away.
She raised her eyes to meet mine.
“I think we were trying to protect ourselves and instead, hurt each other.”
She gave a mirthless laugh. “That sounds about right.”
I slipped my arms around her, sighing joyfully that she let me pull her in tight for a hug. All the stress and tension that had flooded my body for the last two days slipped away, and my equilibrium returned to normal.
“What are we doing, Beckett?”
“Talking things out.”
Her cheek pressed to my chest muffled the sound of frustration she made. “Right, but couples talk things out. Not sexcapade, friends with benefits.”
I rubbed my chin against her hair. She wasn’t wrong, and I wasn’t feeling the typical panic sweeping my body at her words. Wren had slipped beneath my defenses until all I wanted was for it to be her and me against the world. “Maybe that’s not a bad thing.”
“What did you just say?” She leaned back in my arms, her mouth dropped open in this adorable little ‘o.’
I cupped her face with one of my hands. “Maybe we should think about changing things up.”
“You don’t want a relationship. Remember?Wedidn’t want a relationship.”
“Tell me you never had a thought this could be something more, and I’ll let it drop.” Zoey was right today. Not being together was stupid. Wren and I fit.
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